Next Team Building Exercise Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for next team building exercise comic strips. Discover the best "Next Team Building Exercise" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #proposed, #ad, #campaign, #scantily, #clad, #nineties, #out-dated, #lawyers, #bikini, #jobs

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A man sitting at a conference table next to another man says, "We like you proposed ad campaign, Dogbert, but we think it needs some scantily clad women in it." Dogbert replies, "Gentlemen, this is the nineties. That concept is offensive and out-dated." One man says, "Ooh-ooh! What if they had jobs?" The other man says, "Bikini lawyers on skates!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #lenin, #twenty, #bucks, #king, #commies, #available, #stores, #dollars, #wall, #communism

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Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and a man standing against a building whispers, "Pssst! Dog! Would you like to purchase Lenin's body?" The man continues, "Twenty bucks. He's in great shape . . . The king of commies . . . Not available in stores." Back at home, Dogbert pushes a man's body against the wall. Dilbert asks, ". . . And you talked him down to ten dollars?" Dogbert asks, "Do you like it better against this wall?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #can-o-matic, #restroom, #stall, #randomly, #fires, #pink, #slip, #backs, #expressions, #security, #cameras

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Dogbert points to a picture of a bathroom and tells the Boss, "As your consultant, I recommend the 'Can-O-Matic' to reduce staff levels." Dogbert points to a picture of a person falling out a building window and explains, "Disguised as a restroom stall, the Can-O-Matic randomly fires people by slapping a pink slip on their backs and catapulting them out of the building." The Boss says, "But I won't get to see the expressions on their faces." Dogbert replies, "Well, we could fling them past the security cameras here . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #confess, #sinned, #chocolate, #chip, #cookies, #mistake, #scarfed, #bag, #Comic, #strips, #dancing, #community

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A small building is marked, "Dogbert's Confess-O-Rama." One door is labeled, "Employees Only" and the other is labeled, "Sinners." Dogbert sits on one side of a confessional and a man sits on the other. The man says, "Dogbert, I have sinned." The man continues, "I was going to make chocolate chip cookies . . ." The man continues, "But I made the mistake of tasting a chocolate chip right from the bag." The man continues, "Before I knew it, I had scarfed the entire bag of chips!" Dogbert says, "For penance you must make a little dunce hat from old "Cathy" comic strips . . ." Dogbert continues, "Then wear the little hat while dancing naked on your lawn with the sprinklers on." The man says, "Thank you, Dogbert." Dogbert turns to the reader and says, "It's so rewarding to be able to give something back to the community."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #performance, #worthless, #generate, #license

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Tell me what you've accomplished this year so I can write your performance appraisal." Dilbert answers, "The inventions I made last year - that you thought were worthless, will generate twelve million in license fees next year!" The Boss asks, "So, no real accomplishments THIS year?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #baby, #office, #new, #sneeze, #achooo, #prune

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A woman hands Dilbert a baby and says, "Everybody in the office gets a turn holding my new baby." Ted says, "Next." Dilbert holds the baby and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Sneeze coming." Dilbert sneezes. Dilbert looks at the baby and says, "Ooh! Look what he does when you sneeze on him." Ted says, "He looks like a prune!" The mother looks shocked.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ridiculous, #Dilbert, #supercomputer, #create, #model, #predict, #life, #brain, #chemistry, #patterns, #cause and effect, #free will, #mad, #implies

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Dilbert sits at a desk and works on his supercomputer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm using my new supercomputer to create a model that can predict your entire life." Dilbert continues, "You see, everything, including your brain chemistry, is subject to predictable patterns of cause and effect . . ." Dogbert replies, "That's ridiculous. It implies that we have no free will." Dilbert looks at the monitor and says, "Next, you start getting really mad at me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1992's comic on:


Tags #exercise, #happiness, #Dogbert, #bob, #newsletter, #clueless, #professional, #wrestling, #home, #device, #looks, #brains, #healthy, #read

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Dogbert hands Bob the Dinosaur a publication and says, "Bob, here's a copy of my new newsletter for clueless people." Bob reads, "Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless: 1. Professional wrestling is all faked. 2. Nobody ever lost weight on a home exercise device." Bob looks upset as he continues to read, "3. Looks are more important to happiness than brains. 4. If people don't comment on you new hairdo, they hate it." Dogbert says, "It's not healthy to read them all at once, Bob."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #hire, #consultant, #cognitive, #dissonance, #employee, #morale, #absurd, #situation, #work, #minds, #comfortable, #illusion, #strange, #dead end, #job, #love, #mediocre, #freely

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Why should I hire you as my consultant?" Dogbert replies, "I'll use my special process of cognitive dissonance to improve employee morale." The Boss asks, "How does it work?" Dogbert explains, "When people are in an absurd situation, their minds rationalize it by inventing a comfortable illusion." The Boss says, "Okay, go do it." Dogbert asks an employee, "Isn't it strange that you have this dead end job when you're twice as smart as your boss?" Dogbert continues, "The hours are long, the pay is mediocre, nobody respects your contributions, and yet you freely choose to work here." The man looks upset. The man says, "It's absurd! No, wait . . . There must be a reason . . . I must work here because I LOVE the work." The man sits at his desk humming and thinking, "I love this job." Dogbert says, "Next!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #marriage, #counselor, #fight, #squeeze, #tube, #toothpaste, #empty, #rug, #bottom, #hog, #blankets, #snort, #animal, #behavior, #pig

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Dogbert sits in a chair holding a pen and a pad of paper. Dogbert listens as a patient says, "We have a running fight over how to squeeze the tube of toothpaste." A man who is sitting next to a woman who looks like a pig says, "I like to squeeze it from the bottom. She prefers to empty the tube on the rug and roll around in it." Dogbert asks, "At night, does she 'hog' the blankets and snort?" The man replies, "Wow, it's like you know her."