Old Carpet Comic Strips - Page 10
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Alice approaches the Boss' desk and says, "A vendor invited me for drinks. It's the only time he has to talk about his product." The Boss says, "He's using the old bait-lube-and-switch trick. That's how I met my first and third wives." Alice replies, "I don't understand." The Boss says, "That's why it works."
The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, order a new chair for me. The old one lost its new chair smell." Carol responds, "Can I have your old chair? My chair doesn't roll anymore." The Boss replies tentatively, "'I'll try to say this tactfully. You're not important enough to sit in my smelly chair." Carol's eyes bug in offense.
The psycho hillbilly raises his knife at Asok and says, "Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you." Asok jumps back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Asok says, "You look like a psycho hillbilly" The hillbilly replies, "Thank you very much." The hillbilly continues, "We network design engineers like to dress with a theme." Asok asks, "May I call you crazy old coot?"
Catbert says to Dilbert, "We can hire you back but not at your old job." Dilbert responds, "That's okay. I'll do anything but sales. I would be the worst salesperson on Earth." Catbert says, "It's sales." Dilbert replies, "Did I just say worst when I meant best?" Catbert responds, "We'll have to train you to lie better."
Dilbert, Tina, and Wally are eating lunch. Wally says, "I found a coffee stain on my carpet that looks like a man's face." Tina replies, "It might be a miracle... Or maybe a sign of the end of time." Wally responds, "I hope not. I added coffee and gave him a squirrel body."
The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'd like you to meet our new Senior Vice President, Cyrus The Virus." The Boss continues, "Like an infection, he will soon attack the managers in this company and replace us with his old cronies." The new Senior Vice President says into his cell phone, "Tell pointy-haired Pete to get over here right away."
Wally is walking with his metal detector. Dilbert leans over his cubicle wall and asks him, "How's the treasure hunt going? Have you found any loot?" Wally responds, "It's not about the 'loot' as you say. We detectors are motivated by the thrill of the hunt." Dilbert says, "I could seed the carpet with nickels." Wally responds, "I tried that but I can't find them."
Catbert says to Dilbert, "The other engineers are complaining because you have a private office." Dilbert responds, "Maybe you should explain to each of them that life isn't fair." Dilbert is back in his old cubicle. He thinks, "Yeah, I guess it IS easier to explain it to one person."
The Boss pulls a file out of his drawer and thinks, "What's this? It's our old five- year plan!" He opens the file and thinks, "I wonder how we did compared to the plan." The Boss approaches Dilbert and asks, "Have we relegated Microsoft to the dust heap of history?" Dilbert responds, "Shhh! They might hear!"
The hooded weasel approaches Ted's desk and says, "Hell-o-o-o Ted. I'm the weasel of layoffs." The weasel of layoffs continues, "If there's any way I can make this experience more humiliating, don't hesitate to ask." Ted exclaims, "Why, why me??!!" The weasel responds. "I'll tape a list of defects to your old chair."