Personal Storage Unit Comic Strips - Page 10

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178 Results for Personal Storage Unit

View 91 - 100 results for personal storage unit comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Storage Unit" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #party, #phone number, #information, #email, #voicemail, #home phone, #offcie, #work email, #personal website, #too much info, #skeleton, #relationships

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"I've never done this before, but may I have your phone number?" "Home phone.. cell phone.. work phone.. home e-mail.... personal web site." "...And if that fax machine is out of paper, try the one down the hall, but leave me a voice mail if you do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #over head storage, #anxiety, #doesn't fit, #baggae, #luggae, #army on, #above seat, #iowa, #airplane

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Dilbert: GAAA!!! Im having overhead storage anxiety!! It doesn't fit! Everyone will hate me for delaying the flight! Flight attendant: We ere scheduled to fly to new york, but thanks to the bag that didn't fit, we have to leave in Iowa.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new wireless hassock prodcut, #sales people, #work in teams, #wear e;ectroshock, #close the deal

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The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #picture n stapler, #personal items, #desktops, #exception, #eat paper, #parasite

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"Do you mind if I put your picture on my stapler?" "Well, I don't allow personal items on desktops, but I'll make an exception." "Eat paper you ignorant parasite! Ha ha ha!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email storage, #server, #document

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The Boss: You've exceeded your e-mail storage allocation on the server again. Alice: Thats because I od real work as opposed to walking around with a piece of paper. The boss: Its not a piece of paper: its a document! Alice: I can't hear you over the ousted of my real work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no written objectives, #free to help, #personal philosophy

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wally: I'm cruising into my fifth month with no written objectives. some philosophers would say that having no objectives means Im free to help any team that asks. Wally: My personal philosophy is more along the lines of hiding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #highly prodcutive, #useless guy, #employee abseteeism, #stats, #analysis, #disk storage, #science

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The highly productive but useless guy Heres a copy of my white paper. Its a statistical analysis of the correlation between disk storage and employee absenteeism. I oddment know how to do statistics but ut doesn't matter because I didn't have data.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #regular goals, #stretch goals, #sacrifice health, #personal life, #criminal conduct, #bonus, #salaries below budget, #ultra stretchy, #employee rights, #taken advantage, #cheat employee

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"Here are your regular goals and here are your stretch goals." "What's the difference?" "The regular goals can be achieved by sacrificing health and your personal life." "The stretch goals require all of that plus some sort of criminal conduct." "I'm guessing that your boss gave uou the regular goals and you came up with the stretch goals on your own." "That way, When I achieve the regular goals you'll get a raise because I missed the stretch goals." "Then you'll get a bouns for salaries below budget." "Maybe we should talk about the ultra-stretch goals later."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personal items, #can't be higher, #cucblicl wall, #aesthetic reasons, #doll, #einstein doll, #try this concept, #stock plunge

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"Alice, company policy says that personal items can not be higher than the cubicle wall." "Just out of curiousity, what is the logic behind that bizarre policy?" "We want to maintain a smooth line-of-sight for aesthetic reasons." "Let me see if I understand your point of view." "My Einstein doll makes the cubicle so hideous that our stock will plunge" "Now if I take it down..." "Gasp! It's so beautiful now! My soul is filled with music! My life has meaning!" "Yea! I just noticed that when I look at this doll and you at the same time, you look hideous."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #help balancing, #personal life, #no love, #sound sunhealthy, #pill crybaby, #business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. "I need help balancing my career with my personal life." "I recommend a book called "No one will ever love you." It'll crush your hope for a personal life and free up more time for work." "That sounds unhealthy." "Take a pill, crybaby."