Planning Comic Strips - Page 10

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102 Results for Planning

View 91 - 100 results for planning comic strips. Discover the best "Planning" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning

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Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #hallucinations, #strategic planners, #future, #pretend, #different happens, #visualize, #game, #work, #planning

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Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.

The Illusion Of Leadership

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The Illusion Of Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #Advice, #forget, #forgetfulness, #jargon, #leadership, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #business

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Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.

Low Battery On Brain Stimulator

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Low Battery On Brain Stimulator  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #invention, #planning, #party, #picnic, #details, #cups

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Dilbert: I'm wearing a brain stimulator so I don't die of boredom while organizing the company picnic. Carol: Speaking of that, what kind of cups should I order? Do you want red or clear? And what sizes? How many? Is this a bad time? Device: Low battery.

Retirement Plan

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Retirement Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #retirement, #future, #planning, #plan, #death, #aging, #work, #savings, #dying, #medical

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Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.

The Science Of Astrology

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The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Astrology, #metaphysics, #science, #planning, #sign, #zodiac, #pseudoscience

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Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

Trust The Boss

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Trust The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #trust, #confidence, #vampire, #dead, #trustworthy

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Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.

Craving Vacation

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Craving Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #vacation, #conversation, #work, #workload, #annoy, #annoyance

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Tine: I hear you have some vacation days coming. Planning anything big? Dilbert: I plan to catch up on all the work I couldn't get done here because people keep interrupting me. Tina: That's a sad vacation. Dilbert: Then why am I craving it right now?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #time machine, #time travel, #experiment, #algorithm, #planning, #mistake, #error, #science

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Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.

Adding A Feature

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Adding A Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #design, #changes, #planning, #managers

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Boss: Add this feature to the software. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why didn't you ask for this weeks ago when it would have been easy???? Boss: This is nothing. Wait until you see the feature I ask for next week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #competition, #replacement, #hiring, #job description

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Boss: Wally, I need you to write up your job description for me. Wally: Is that because you're planning to hire someone to replace me? Boss: I need it by tomorrow. Wally: Job description: leverage platform technologies to maximize software architecture optimization via nanotubes. Here you go. Boss: Can you start on Monday? Man: I changed my mind.