Save Lives Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

160 Results for Save Lives

View 91 - 100 results for save lives comic strips. Discover the best "Save Lives" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #certified massage therapist, #clicking, #every week, #few minutes, #lengthy questionarie, #one hand, #pen pal, #used pen

View Transcript

Transcript

Certified Massage Therapist "Fill out this lengthy medical questionnaire." "That'll save me a few minutes of touching him." "I wonder if he'd know if I only used one hand." "Actually, how would he even know if it's a hand?" "Maybe I have an object here that feels like a hand." "This ballpoint pen will work." "I'm finding some tension here. Okay, it's gone now." "She says I should come back every week until my muscles stop clicking." "Sounds like you found a pen pal."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beta version, #archive option, #way you ask, #try yelling

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The beta version looks great. Now ask if they'll tss in an archive option for no extra money. Dilbert: "That's a great idea. Or...maybe I could save time by the realizing that they aren't raging morons who enjoy working for free." The boss: "It's all in the way you ask." Dilbert: "I'll try yelling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #offcie, #meeting, #privacy, #geographically dependant, #benchmark test, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Dilbert, come to my office for a minute." Dilbert: "What's in your office?" The boss: "You and I will be there." Dilbert: "If you just want to talk, we can do it right here and save us both some time." The boss: "Maybe we need privacy, did you ever think of that?" Dilbert: "Do we need it?" The Boss: "No, that was just an example. There are many, many reasons why we should talk in my office." Dilbert: "I'll be fascinated to find out what kind of information is geographically dependent." The Boss: "Now, do you have the results from the Benchmark Tests?" Dilbert: "Yup. In my cubicle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil wind blowing, #dark soul, #evil director, #human resources, #employee survey, #over reacted, #well being, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"I feel an evil wind blowing my way." "My soul is filling with darkness...Suddenly I am cold, oh, so cold." Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Hello-o-o, Asok." "GAAA!!! What are you doing here?!!" "It's time for the annual Employee Satisfaction Survey." "Perhaps I overreacted. I don't see how this could possibly be bad." "It is evident from these questions that you care about my wellbeing!" "I love the part where they think I'm here to help." Purr Purr Two Weeks Later "They're delighted with their benefits. It looks like we can save some money there."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new director, #wist decision support, #out source contracts, #north elbonia, #government reward

View Transcript

Transcript

"My job could not be more meaningless." "I'm looking at my new Director of Post-Decision Support!" "After I make a decision, your job is to figure out why it was the right one." "Save those tears of joy for later. We've got work to do!" "SOB!" "I decided to outsource our nuclear contracts to North Elbonia." "And in return, they'll give us food, if they ever figure out how to grow any." "I expect some fallout from this decision." "Me too." "On the plus side, it won't be long before there's a government reward for killing him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I heard that porpoises are smart, so I hired one." "Porpoises have been known to save humans by attacking sharks with their snouts." "He looks like our company lawyer, but more surprised."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hammerhead bob, #start butting into private lives, #sense annoyance

View Transcript

Transcript

"Great. The only seat is next to Hammerhead Bob." "I'm learning ESP so I can start butting into people's private thoughts." "I sense annoyance, yet there seems to be no cause."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #project acorn cancelled, #attend meeting, #good questions, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Can you come to a meeting at three?" "Why?" "I want to tell everyone that Project Acorn is canceled." "You just told me. So I don't need to go, right?" "You might have other questions." "But I don't." "Maybe someone at the meeting will ask a question that you didn't think of." "Should I attend every meeting in the world just in case someone asks a good question?" "Save that one for the meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Seminar on Work-Life Balance "This is Allen. He didn't balance his work and personal lives." "Allen did nothing but work, work, work. And now look at him." "I'm the one who tried to balance everything. That's Allen. He's a @#!$% CEO now!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #plant maintenance, #contract, #save money, #adopt plant, #unluckiest plant, #coffee dregs

View Transcript

Transcript

"We canceled our plant maintenance contract to save money." "Each employee will adopt a nearby plant and water it." The Unluckiest Plant in the Whole World "Now when I pour my coffee dregs on you, it will look like work!" "Must...run..."