Secret Comic Strips - Page 10
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Character
120 Results for Secret
View 91 - 100 results for secret comic strips. Discover the best "Secret" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 24,
2014
Zig Zag
Tags executives, insubordination, leadership, zigzag, insanity, fired
Transcript
CEO: The secret to being a great leader is to zig when others zag. Dilbert: Coincidentally, that is the same strategy used by the insane. CEO: I should fire you for your insubordination. Dilbert: Or you could zig.
Saturday February 14,
2015
Fifty Tips For Success
Tags Advice, career advice, obliviousness, secret, success, tech millionaire
Transcript
Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.
Thursday June 25,
2015
Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack
Tags technology, hacker, hacking, cyber attack, government secret, advancement, app
Transcript
Boss: I'm loaning you to the government to help stop the worst cyber attack our country has seen. Dilbert: I wrote an app for that. Okay... done. Are we good? G-Man: It's a gray area. I might need to kill you and steal the app.
Saturday June 27,
2015
Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping
Tags identity, hacker, hacking, government, manhunt, technology, money, ruse, trick, greed, betrayal
Transcript
Dilbert: The government threatened to kill me if I don't sell them my anti-hacker app. Dogbert: You should change your identity, give me everything you own, and move to an undisclosed location. Dilbert: Will we have a secret way to stay in contact? Dogbert: You're becoming a burden.
Tuesday July 28,
2015
Hire Smarter People
Tags leadership, success, insult, power, compliment, backhanded compliment, ego, humility, humble
Transcript
CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.
Sunday September 13,
2015
Tags character, behavior, role model, mentor, secret, psychology
Transcript
CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!
Saturday September 19,
2015
Haircut Illuminati
Tags secret society, organizations, illuminati, hair, hairstyles, haircut, barber, Politics, politicians, success
Transcript
Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.
Sunday September 20,
2015
Tags managers & supervisors, credit, motivation, obliviousness, hiring, logic, business
Transcript
Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?
Monday September 21,
2015
Hairdresser Illuminati
Tags hair, haircut, hairstyles, success, Politics, candidates, secret organization, secret society, control
Transcript
The Hairdresser Illuminati. Dogbert: Before we start, I'll need to see a list of your political views. Hoo-boy, this is some crazy stuff. I have just the right hairstyle for this. There. That should keep you out of The White House.
Wednesday February 03,
2016
Closer To Being A Terrorist
Tags Religion, logic, terrorism, terrorist, radicalization, extremism, fbi, interrogation
Transcript
FBI Secret Facility. Asok: I am a nonviolent Hindu. You use violence as a tool, and your religion is centered around one of Islam's prophets. So... technically, you're closer to being a radical Islamic terrorist than I am. Agent: I hate engineers.


