Sitting Comic Strips - Page 10

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457 Results for Sitting

View 91 - 100 results for sitting comic strips. Discover the best "Sitting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags low priced consultant, reasonably priced, roll around hamburger patties

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The Boss and Wally sitting at table. The Boss says I saved a lot of money by hiring a low-priced consultant." The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "These aren't the best recommendations in the world, but the price was very resasonable." Asok the Intern, Dilbert, Wally peruse the recommendations. Asok says, "I don't like this one about rolling around on unwashed hamburger patties." The Boss says, "Keep an open mind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags declare martial law, jailing ombudsmen, personal phone calls, recommend changes, shoot emplyees, shoot employees

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Dogbert and The Boss sitting at table. Dogbert passes a memo to The Boss and says, "Although your company is very profitable, I wouldn't be much of a consultant if I didn't recommend changes." The Boss views the recommendations and says, "You recommend jailing our ombudsman and declaring martial law ... makes sense." The Boss asks Dogbert, "Then could I shoot employees who make personal phone calls?" Dogbert replies, "It's okay with me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags overpaid, do bad work, Funny, think about it, terrible job, job security

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Dogbert sitting next to Dilbert while he types on his computer. Dogbert says, "As a consultant, I'm overpaid even if I do bad work." Dogbert continues, "Whereas you're underpaid even if you do good work. It's funny if you think about it." Dilbert, while typing, replies, "I might have a terrible job, but at least I don't have any job security."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, Promotion, dont know, hired a strsnger, out side of company, the boss, obstructs progress

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The Boss and Alice sitting at table. The Boss says, "Alice, I checked with the other managers; they don't know you well enough to promote you." The Boss continues, "So we've decided to hire someone from outside the company." Alice is stunned. As Alice exits the room, she says, "At least the other managers have heard my name now." The Boss replies, "I didn't use your real name."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags united nations, billion dollars, donated, france, Dogbert

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Dilbert and Dogbert sitting on a couch. Dilbert is eating chips. Dogbert says, "I donated a billion dollars to the United Nations today." Dilbert replies, "That's nice of you." Dogbert says, "My only condition is that they name something after me." At the United Nations, three UN representatives sit at a table. The French diplomat exclaims, "For the millionth time: Yes, I'm sure we want to keep calling it France!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags less perfectionist, apathy, low standards, positive traits, intrapreneurial spirit

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The Boss sitting at his desk while Alice stands opposite him. The Boss says, "Alice, you'd get more accomplished if you were less of a perfectionist." The Boss continues, "I've asked Wally to work with you - to teach you how to be less perfect." Alice says to Wally, "When did apathy and low standards become positive traits?" Wally, while sitting, responds, "I call it intrapreneurial spirit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, hr director, dumped work, moan, scream, staffing levels

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Headline: Catbert: H.R. Director. Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. Catbert says, "When you dumped more work on Wally, did he moan? Or did he scream?" The Boss responds, "It sounded like this... Aaoo-muw-aahh-ow-ow!!" Catbert walks down the hall and thinks, "The staffing levels sound about right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags optimistic assumptions, revenue target, visited by alien, our new pordcut, autopsy video, technology

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Dilbert stands in front of a line graph titled, "$". Dilbert says, "I had to make some optimistic assumptions to meet the revenue target." The Boss is sitting behind Dilbert, looking at the graph. Dilbert continues, "In week three, we're visited by an alien named D'utox Inag who offers to share his advanced technology." The Boss asks, "Then do we use his technology to design our new product?" Dilbert replies, "No, we kill him and sell the autopsy video."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clown, small head, random things, pippy, artistic integrity, creating comic, bitter, dogbert created

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Dilbert looking at Dogbert's cartoon. Dogbert sitting next to him. Dilbert says, "Your comic strip seems to be nothing but a clown with a small head who says random things." Dogbert responds, "That's Pippy." Dogbert explains, "I'm maintaining my artistic integrity by creating a comic that no one will enjoy." Dilbert says, "The important thing is that YOU enjoy it." Dogbert replies, "The first two were okay, but now I'm just bitter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hideous sycophant, no hope, career advancement, lifestyle choice

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Dilbert and Allen walking down a hall. Dilbert asks, "So, Allen, what's it like to be a hideous sycophant?" Allen replies, "It's okay." Allen asks, "What's it like to have no hope of career advancement?" Dilbert responds, "Not bad." Allen and Dilbert sitting at table with food trays. Allen asks, "Were you born that way or is it a lifestyle choice?" Dilbert responds, "I'll ask my mom, but I think it was bad parenting."