Social Media Comic Strips - Page 10
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204 Results for Social Media
View 91 - 100 results for social media comic strips. Discover the best "Social Media" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 12,
2012
Tags 10 million, cloud start up, social media, venture capital, location based, flattering, investment, technology
Transcript
Venture Capital Dogbert: I need $100,000 for my location-based, social media, could start-up. Coworker: I'm not giving you $100,000 just because you spewed some buzz-words. Dogbert: The how about $10 million? Coworker: Wait... now it sounds like a good investment. How did you do that? Dogbert: I can tell you, but it won't be flattering.
Thursday September 27,
2012
Tags internet & world wide web, web traffic, blatant honesty, money, negotiations, various things, vague stuff, vagueness
Transcript
Social media expert Consultant: If you give me lots of money, I will do various vague things to increase your web traffic. Boss: Wow! I would have been happy with just various things, but that vague stuff sounds great too! Dilbert: And now he's my responsibility? Boss: Don't screw up his vagueness plan because I think it can work.
Friday September 28,
2012
Tags despair, prices, social media expert, fee, pay scale, popcorn, meeting, hope left body, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I assume we pay you based on how much you increase our social media hits. Consultant: No. My fee is whatever I think you're dumb enough to pay for ambiguous outcomes. Dilbert: Either hope just left my body or the popcorn is getting chatty. Social media expert
Friday January 04,
2013
Tags online (web) news, news manufaturer, online media, misleading headlines, snarky bow, news naturally, engineer, news magic, engineering
Transcript
Dogbert: I got a job as a news manufacturer for an online media company. I quote people out of context, add misleading headlines and tie it all up with a snarky bow. Dilbert: I thought the news occurred naturally. Dogbert: "Entineer Thinks News is Magic."
Thursday March 21,
2013
Tags engineering experince, job interview, no friends, social influence, social media score
Transcript
The Boss; Your engineering looks great, but your social media score is nearly zero. You have no friends , no followers, and no social influence whatsoever. Man: because I four on my work! The Boss: No, Im pretty sure you're dead.
Wednesday July 03,
2013
Tags executives, wages, media, overpaid, ceos, executive pay, sultan of brunei, larry elliosn, god, Religion, Entertainment, money
Transcript
CEO: The media is saying I'm overpaid compared to other CEOs. That's crazy. Do a benchmark study of executive pay, including the Sultan of Brunei, Larry Ellison, and God. Make sure my pay ends up somewhere in the middle so it doesn't look suspicious.
Tuesday August 06,
2013
Tags internet & world wide web, loneliness, marriage, wifi, no wife, social, intellectual; needs, human contact, relationships
Transcript
Coworker: Are you married? Wally: I don't have a wife, but I do have wifi. I find that it meets all of my social and intellectual needs. Coworker: Do you miss the warmth of human contact? Wally: Never tried it. Sounds problematic.
Sunday October 20,
2013
Tags dating, internet & world wide web, social media cosultant, one like, less than ten thousand, insulting, elbonian, inflate your like count, socialize, wine glasses, bar wine, kiss, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: What do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a social media consultant. Dilbert: I like you. Woman: Phhht. You're giving me one like? Anything less than ten thousand likes is an insult. Dilbert: I'll be right back. I hired an Elbonian to artificially inflate your like count. Elbonian: Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Dilbert: I am not paying that guy.
Tuesday November 19,
2013
Tags dating, engineers, engineer, excellent employment, potential, social skills, relationships, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Hi. I'm an engineer. That means I have excellent employment potential and I can fix things around the house. Woman: How are your social skills? Dilbert: Wow. Look who wants the moon.
Saturday March 15,
2014
Tags internet & world wide web, power (social sciences), slaves, a-b testing, manipulate humans, orange button, mindless puppets, legality
Transcript
Dogbert: Buwhahaha! I'm using A-B testing to manipulate irrational humans! Bend to my will and choose the orange button, you mindless click-puppets! Dilbert: And this is legal? Dogbert: I own you now!

