Something Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

562 Results for Something

View 91 - 100 results for something comic strips. Discover the best "Something" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #book publishing, #reject authors, #untalented dolts, #publish something, #conventional wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

"How's the book publishing business coming along?" "Great!" "I get to reject dozens of authors every day! I call them untalented dolts and they THANK me for it." "Eventually, you have to actually publish something." "Yeah, well, that's the conventional wisdom."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #great solutions, #bicycle seats, #dorky pants, #bicycle pants

View Transcript

Transcript

GREAT SOLUTIONS IN ENGINEERING Problem: Bicycle seats are hard. They Hurt. Analysis: there must be something work with your pants, Dogbert: Solution: dorky pants.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #downtrodden cubicle workers, #form union, #working conditions, #salaried workers, #against law, #no overtime, #no security, #spines, #demand bigger cucbilce, #union dues, #long hours, #strap on spines

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hear me, all downtrodden cubicle workers!" "I have come to form a union to improve your working conditions!" "We can't join a union. We're salaried." "I think it's against the law, or something." "You've got long hours, no overtime, shrinking benefits and no job security. You must act now!" "You're confusing us with people who have spines." "Don't worry, I brought strap-on porta-spines for everybody." "I demand a bigger cubicle!" "Nobody will take advantage of us ever again!" "Now, let's talk about union dues." "Fair enough."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #best assets, #competitions worst, #employees on job, #hidden camera, #imply, #they work for competition, #ad agency, #dogbert's ad agency

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst. we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job. The Boss: I missed something here... Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1994's comic on:


Tags #cranky, #discover religion, #physical until marriage, #unitarian, #liz, #dilbert serene, #dogbert talks liz

View Transcript

Transcript

"I don't understand something, Liz. You told Dilbert you don't want to be physical until after marriage..." "I would expect him to be cranky around the house, yet he's quite relaxed...serene. I don't see how...unless..." "Did you discover religion?" "I think I'm Unitarian."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #filberts cubcile, #big eyes, #interested

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: "I discovered I can look interested in what people say by making my eyes big." "Go ahead - say something. I'm ready." Dilbert: "I'm trying to get some work done here." Ratbert: "Work, you say? Very interesting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Opinion, #charge fee, #copensation, #idiots, #cost you

View Transcript

Transcript

"From now on, I'm going to charge anybody who gives me their opinion." "People are idiots. If I have to listen to their opinions, I deserve compensation." "You're forgetting that 'from the mouths of babes...comes...something good." "That'll cost you a buck."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #copier paper, #laser printer, #made mockery, #phil, #prince of inssufficient light, #punishment, #tracked speatrely, #borrowing paper

View Transcript

Transcript

"Copy Room" "Stop right there!" "It's Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light." "What's in your hands?" "I'm just borrowing some paper for the laser printer. There's no law against that!" "I think we both know that the copier paper and the printer paper are purchased and tracked separately." "You've made a mockery of the system! I darn you to heck!" "Your punishment is to sit at the secretary's cubicle and endure the stale wit of your co-workers." "Hey, Wendy, there's something different about you today!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #saint dogbert, #priority matrix, #agenda

View Transcript

Transcript

"I invited Saint Dogbert to bludgeon anybody who strays from the agenda into something stupid." "That reminds me of the productization of our Tiger Team's priority matrix." "Actually, that was on the agenda." "Oops. Carry on."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #mathematical proof god, #smartest garbageman, #transposed varaiables, #proves existence of dog, #you exist, #error, #hear something

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert! Come here! I've done it!" "I created a mathematical proof of the existence of God!" "Give it to me." "This is a job for the world's smartest garbage man." "What can I do for you, Dogbert?" "Check this math." "Clever...but he transposed some variables. This proves the existence of his dog." "Now we know YOU exist and I must exist because 'I think, therefore I am'." "But since Dilbert wasn't thinking when he made his error, there's no proof that HE exists." "Hey!" "Did you just hear something, Dogbert?" "There's no way to be sure."