Take A Stand Comic Strips - Page 10

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879 Results for Take A Stand

View 91 - 100 results for take a stand comic strips. Discover the best "Take A Stand" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #model, #evaluation, #advantage, #hideous, #service

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Dogbert says to a woman walking on the sidewalk, "Excuse me, would you like to take advantage of our 'Model Evaluation Service?' Only ten dollars." The woman says, "Me? Gosh, I've never thought of myself that way. Yes, I would love to be evaluated." Dogbert says, "You're hideous . . . That's ten dollars." The woman looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #happy face, #peanut butter, #saint ted, #ratbert, #booked, #new york, #saint theresa

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Dogbert and Ratbert stand outdoors. Dogbert shows Ratbert a can of peanut butter and says, "It's a miracle, Ratbert. The image of Saint Ted appeared in my jar of peanut butter!" Ratbert asks, "Saint Ted? Who ever heard of Saint Ted? Couldn't you get Saint Theresa?" Dogbert replies, "She was booked to a can of varnish in Upstate New York." Ratbert says, "Saint Ted looks like a 'happy face.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #vegetarian, #dead, #animals, #cook, #carcinogenic, #eat, #nutritious, #question, #reason, #cult

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I don't understand why you, or anybody, would become a vegetarian." Dogbert replies, "You mean, why don't I take dead animals, cook them until they become carcinogenic, then eat them instead of something nutritious? Is that your question?" Dilbert answers, "Exactly. Is there any good reason? Have you joined a cult?" Dogbert replies, "Apparently."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #strange, #dream, #nosebleed, #supressing, #memories, #abducted, #aliens, #hypnosis, #scorned

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert holds a pen and a pad of paper. Dogbert asks, "Have you ever had a strange dream or a nosebleed?" Dilbert replies, "Yes." Dogbert says, "It's clear that you're suppressing memories of being abducted by aliens. I can use hypnosis to get at those memories." Dilbert asks, "What if the hypnosis itself makes me think it happened when it didn't? I'll be scorned and ridiculed for life." Dogbert replies, "That's a risk I'm willing to take."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #smell, #creative, #idea, #formed, #building, #crush, #new, #trap, #suggestion, #box, #Dilbert

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The Boss sits at his desk thinking, "Uh-oh . . . I smell a creative idea being formed somewhere in the building." The Boss sniffs the air. The Boss sits in a window in the top floor of an office building. He thinks, "I must find it and crush it." Dilbert and a man stand in front of a suggestion box while the Boss hides around the corner. Dilbert says, "Hey, this is new." The man says, "It's a trap!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #received, #employee, #suggestion, #handle, #blanket, #imbeciles, #process

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "I just received your employee suggestion." The Boss continues, "We'll handle it the usual way -- by making you sit under a wet blanket surrounded by imbeciles." Dilbert sits in a chair with a blanket covering his head. Four stupid people stand around him. Dilbert thinks, "At least there's a process." A man asks, "Explain your suggestion again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #driving school, #student, #driver, #stereo, #signal, #car, #phone, #defrost, #window, #fishing, #driving, #simulator, #test, #drive

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Dogbert and a boy sit in a car with a "Student Driver" sign on the roof. Dogbert says, "With your right hand, insert a CD into the stereo . . . Good." Dogbert continues, "Now signal left! Answer the car phone! Defrost the rear window! Honk is you love fishing!" The student panics and tosses the phone into the air. Dogbert says, "Fortunately, we're only in the driving simulator." The car is sitting in a dealership showroom. A salesman approaches the car and asks, "Do you boys want to take it for a test drive?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #left-handed, #elbonians, #take, #change, #light, #bulb, #funnier

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One Elbonian asks another, "How many left-handed Elbonians does it take to change a light bulb?" The Elbonian says, "None! Left-handed Elbonians don't have any light bulbs!" The other Elbonian asks, "What's a light bulb?" The Elbonian replies, "I guess it would be funnier if we knew that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #school, #jerk, #sorting, #major, #categories, #specialized, #instruction, #supermodel, #cindy, #picture, #Sports, #hubba, #court

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Two men shove each other as they enter "Dogbert's School for Jerks." Dogbert stands on a stool and says, "We'll begin by sorting you into the three major jerk categories for specialized instruction." Dogbert holds up a photo and says, "Look at this picture of supermodel Cindy Crawford." A man in the audience says, "Whoa! Hubba! Snort!" Dogbert says, "Anybody who said 'hubba,' stand over there. You are what is called 'jerks around women.'" Dogbert tosses a ball into the audience and says, "Now, somebody catch this ball, please." Someone yells, "Foul! You fouled!" Dogbert says, "Anybody who yelled 'foul' is a 'sports jerk.' Stand over there." A man says, "It WAS a foul." Dogbert says, "So, whoever is left must be . . ." A woman wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase says, "Hurry up. I'm late for court." The man next to her asks, "You're a lawyer too?" Another man says, "I was going to say 'hubba.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #laboratory, #lab, #scientist, #changing, #tic-tac

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A man in a lab coat hands Ratbert something that looks like a pill and says, "Just take one, Ratbert." Ratbert rolls back and forth on the lab bench and yells, "Aaargh!! I'm changing! I'm changing!" The scientist says, "It wasn't funny the first hundred times I gave you a Tic-Tac either." Ratbert says, "Let's try it again!"