Write Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

179 Results for Write

View 91 - 100 results for write comic strips. Discover the best "Write" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #value of merger, #large number, #marketing department, #frooglepoopillion

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "The company will be taking a one-time charge to write down the value of our merger." The Boss continues, "The number is so large that it has no name. Our marketing department is on it." A co-worker raises his hand and says, "Let's see a show of hands for 'Frooglepoopillion.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #technology strategy, #not written yet, #doesn't exist, #duh, #duh to infinity

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss comes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, write up our technology strategy." Dilbert replies, "Okay." He pauses and then asks, "What's our strategy?" The Boss says, "How should I know? It's not written yet." He pauses and then adds, "Duh!" Dilbert turns and says, "How can I write about something that doesn't exist?" He pauses and then adds, "Duh!" The Boss replies, "It will exist, as soon as you write it." He pauses and then adds, "Duh!" The Boss and Dilbert exchange "Duhs:" The Boss says, "Duh!" Dilbert responds, "Duh!" The Boss says, "Duh!" Dilbert responds, "Duh!" The Boss says, "Duh!" Dilbert responds, "Duh!" The Boss turns to leave and says, "Just do it." The Boss thinks to himself, "Double duh." Dilbert responds, "Whatever." Dilbert thinks to himself, "Duh to infinity." Dilbert faces his computer and thinks, "If my company stock had any value, I'd be selling it right now."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #nemesis, #pointy haired, #software division, #report to boss, #no difference, #harware, #software, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is my nemesis, pointy-haired Carl. He manages our software division." "Write up some reasons why he should report to me. I'll secretly give it to our Vice President." "Start by saying there's no real difference between hardware and software." "I'm unclean!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2004's comic on:


Tags #profits down, #sales department, #warhouse, #book

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Profits are down, so we fired the sales department to reduce costs." "This strategy heavily depends on people driving to our warehouse and begging for our products." "Do you think I should write a book?" Dilbert: "I'd try reading one first."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #celebrity business plan, #commit crime, #hire lawyer, #reality tv show, #gain weight, #tabloids, #spokesperson, #weight loss product, #write children book, #rehab, #addicted to painkillers, #plan, #future plans, #goals, #sensationalism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Would you review my celebrity business plan?" Dilbert: "Sure." Dogbert: "First, I'll commit a sensational crime that the media can't ignore." "Then I'll hire celebrity lawyer, Johnny 'Red' Galipigos to help me beat the rap." "I'll use my fame to land a part on a reality tv show where I will win by cheating." "Then I'll gain a massive amount of the weight so the tabloids will fixate on me." "Burp" "Then I'll become a spokesperson for a weight loss product." "It works!" "Lastly, I'll write children's books." Dilbert: "What about rehab?" "Good catch. I totally forgot the part where I get addicted to pain killers." Dilbert: "Otherwise it looks good."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #sublet space, #business case, #risks and drivers, #changed mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "We only have two people on the third floor. Let's move them to our empty cubes here and sublet the space." The Boss: "Write a business case with all the risks and business drivers and I'll consider it." Dilbert: "I changed my mind. We shouldn't so anything." The boss: "I need a business case for that, too."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #journal, #personal growth, #write in journal, #felt a little

View Transcript

Transcript

Keep a journal of everything you do. That way you'll know where you need help. "Now I am writing in my journal. I am still writing in my journal. Now I am writing about writing in my journal." "Ooh. I think I felt a little personal growth there."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #employees, #the boss, #asok, #projects, #new, #challenge, #tina, #write, #newsletter, #worthless, #assistant

View Transcript

Transcript

I have completed all of my projects and I am ready for a new challenge. "You can help Tina write the department newsletter." "But the newsletter job is only given to the most worthless employee." "And her assistant."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2005's comic on:


Tags #faq for wedsite, #anticipate questions, #questionaire

View Transcript

Transcript

I hired Mr. Dogbert to write the F.A.Q. for our web site. "The key is to anticipate our customers' most likely questions." "Question 1: Where does your CEO live? I need to know so I can throw your cruddy project through his biggest window."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2005's comic on:


Tags #our annual report, #positive spin, #poor results, #stock plummenting, #can't afford us

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tina, I want you to write our annual report." "How should I explain our poor results?" "Just give it a positive spin." "If you have to ask why our stock keeps plummeting, you can't afford us."