Actual Question Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

314 Results for Actual Question

View 91 - 100 results for actual question comic strips. Discover the best "Actual Question" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #question, #smartphone, #internet browser, #slow, #old, #wrinkly, #dead, #google, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can research that question with my phone's browser." MUCH TIME PASSES The Boss says, "I found the Google!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #idiot, #question, #placebo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need answers to these questions for a confidential project. I can't tell you more." Coworker says, "I'm a complete idiot and even I can deduce from your questions what the project must be." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, so some of you idiots are getting placebo questions." Coworker says, "Well played."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #stern, #client specs, #lion pecs, #angry, #yell, #question, #mishear, #avoid work, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Wally, did you review the client's specs like I asked you to?" Wally says, "What?!" Wally says, "I thought you asked me to 'preview the lion's pecs.'" Coworker says, "Why would I ask you to preview a lion's pecs?!!" Wally says, "So... now you want me to question everything you say?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #leader, #process, #decision making, #gut, #instinct, #annoy, #question, #frustrated, #yell, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "A good leader uses a process for making decisions." Dilbert says, "May I take this one?" Wally says, "Go." Alice says, "Make us proud." Dilbert says, "Question: If making a decision is just a process, why can't a computer do it?" The Boss says, "Because sometimes I have to rely on my gut." Dilbert says, "Which part of your gut is the smart part? Is it the stomach lining, or maybe the colon?" The Boss says, "I'm talking about instinct. It's an indefinable leadership quality." Dilbert says, "Is the indefinable thing like a superstition?" Wally says, "Or cooties?" The Boss says, "It's a process!" Dilbert says, "Is that your colon talking?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #school, #coach, #time management, #rudeness, #stand on stool, #angry, #yell, #swear, #type, #cell phone, #wag tail, #education, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's school of time management." Dogbert says, "Today you will learn that rudeness and good time management are the same thing." Man says, "Answer my #@*% question!" Dogbert says, "Keep typing, Beverly! He doesn't exist."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2010's comic on:


Tags #open door policy, #office, #look over shoulder, #suspicious, #core systems, #key processes, #pointless question, #act randomly

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "What's more important- our core systems or our key processes?" Wally says, "If there's no clear answer to that question, I'll continue to act randomly." The Boss says, "Get out of my office." Wally says, "The open door policy probably looked good on paper."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #question, #cubicle, #fix bugs, #control management software, #lie, #truth, #square dance, #ignorance, #pleaser

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "How long will it take to fix the bugs in our control management software?" Dilbert says, "Do you want a realistic estimate that will ruin your day, or a lie that will allow your ignorance and your happiness to lock arms and square dance to the next cubicle?" The Boss says, "That second option sounds festive." Dilbert says, "I'm a pleaser."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #nose job, #question, #art department, #veterinarian, #dog nose, #snout, #artistic statement, #hot, #airflow, #sit in chairs

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok in the art department Woman says, "Is that a botched nose job, which would be tragic?" Woman says, "Or a bold artistic statement, which would be totally hot?" Asok says, "It started out as a mistake, but I'm keeping it for the improved airflow. How hot is that?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #coworker, #question, #hold out paper, #technical accuracy, #no, #coffee, #bad attitude, #harsh, #grumpy

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Alice, can you check this for technical accuracy?" Alice says, "Nope. Don't have time." Alice says, "And no one else is qualified, so you might as well give up and look for a new job." Coworker says, "That was a bit harsh." Alice says, "You'd be less worthless if you fetched me some coffee."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #math, #project, #fail, #disaster, #embarrassed, #act dumb, #cancel, #buy, #question, #demonstrate, #hands up, #education, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "The math clearly shows that our project won't work, even if we do everything right." The Boss says, "It's embarrassing to cancel a project in the middle. Let's act dumb and hope someone in upper management cancels it for budget reasons." Dilbert says, "Should I stop buying stuff?" The Boss says, "You should buy twice as much."