Air Vent Comic Strips - Page 10
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Dilbert stands next to a projection on the wall. Dilbert says, "This concludes my presentation. Are there are any questions?" The people in the meeting have their hands to their ears and look terrified. One man says, "How do I get the boredome out of my head?!" Dilbert thinks, "The funny thing is that I'll list thia on my annual accomplishments." The people say, in unison, "Air! I need air!!!"
Dilbert and the skeletal supermodel order at a restaurant. Dilbert says, "I'll have the jumbo spaghetti meal with a loaf of garlic bread." The supermodel says, "I'll absorb moisture from the air and sniff the mints on the way out." Dilbert eats an huge portion of spaghetti and bread. Dilbert says, "Is it fun to be a supermodel?" The model says, "It was until now."
Catbert: Evil H.R. Director: Dilbert sits in Catbert's office and waves his hands in the air as he says, "My boss is preventing me from transfering to a great job." Catbert says, "That's outrageous! There shouldn't be any great jobs at this company." Dilbert says, "Once again, you've made a bad situation worse." Catbert replies, "That's the human resources promise."
Dilbert says, "I'll need a letter of reference to apply for a job in another division." The Boss sits at his desk and says, "No problem." The Boss writes a letter. It says, "...For a man of his hygiene. He doesn't steal as much as you think. I suspect he's on drugs." The new manager says, "And then he says you're prone to anger and denial. Is that true?" Dilbert is angry and waves his arms in the air and screams, "NO!!"
Dilbert sits on the couch drinking a cup of coffee and wearing a bathrobe. He says, "It takes a certain type of personality to telecommute, Dogbert." Dogbert's ears shoot up in the air and he says, "What?" Dogbert says, "Just because other people have personalities doesn't mean YOU should try to develop one." Dilbert frowns and says, "I HAVE a personality!" Dogbert says, "Let's not get into that 'Is zero a number' debate again."
Swami Doghbert is at the staff meeting with Dilbert, The Boss and Wally. He wears a turban wth a cresent moon on it and says, "I've been hired to find the gullible fool who continues to send anonymous chain letters to everyone." Dogbert waves his hands in the air and says, "I place the Curse of Dogbert on all past and future senders of chain letters." The Boss looks like Dogbert (dog ears and dog nose) and says, "I think I saw Wally flinch." Dogbert and Dilbert stare at him.
An unnamed flunky says, "Don't worry about my flu, Alice. Germs don't fly through the air." He sneezes so hard his tissue is blown out of his hand. Aachooo! He looks at Alice and says, "Remember, germs don't fly through the air." ALice's hair is pushed back as if in the middle of a wind storm. She pushes up her sleeves, preparing to punch the guy and says, "Yours are gonna."
Dilbert forwns and says, "Just because you guessed a hundred coin flips in a row doesn't mean you're psychic." Coincidences so happen." Dilbert flips the coin again, high in the air. Ratbert says, "I call seven rotations followed by inexplicable hovering and hen noises." The coin floats in mid-air. Dilbert points and says, "That is luck... luck, luck, luck, luck, luck!" Ratbert says, "Are we done now?"
The garbage man sits on the ground talking to Ratbert. He syas, "...As your consciousness passes through each universe, you tend to follow a line of probability." Ratbert writes this down in a spiral notebook. He says, "Got it." The garbage man says, "And since it's more probable that matter is near other matter, you have the illusion of gravity as your consciousness moves toward the norm." He waves his arm in the air to demonstrate. The garbage man says, "Did you get all that, Ratbert?" Ratbert says, "Hey, I'm not stupid. Does this Norm guy have a last name?"
Dilbert waves his arms in the air and says, "I'm a little concerned about your hiring communist North Elbonian contractors to help on my top secret military project." The Boss reads a newspaper and says, "Don't worry. What's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert says, "I could be executed for treason." The Boss says, "Talk to our legal department." Dilbert says, Could I opt for the execution instead?"