Ask Comic Strips - Page 10
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413 Results for Ask
View 91 - 100 results for ask comic strips. Discover the best "Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 07,
2016
Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong
Tags idea, reality, accuracy, creative accounting, numbers, math, error, excel, spreadsheet, education
Transcript
Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday December 26,
2015
Boss Asks Alice To Mentor At School
Tags gender, misogyny, Women, feminist, mentor, tutor, assumption, feminism
Transcript
Boss: My kid's school is looking for someone to mentor girls interested in stem careers. Alice: Are you asking me to do that because I'm a woman? Would you ask a man to do that? Boss: This went bad fast. Alice: Tell Wally to do it. He's not busy.
Thursday December 24,
2015
Carl Asks What
Sunday December 20,
2015
Tags jargon, techspeak, nonsense, bluff, deception, conversation, language
Transcript
Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.
Tuesday December 15,
2015
I Would Never Ask You To Lie
Tags sales personnel, lying, sales, ethics, business
Transcript
Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.
Monday October 12,
2015
Asok Asks How Much Is Luck
Tags nepotism, luck, success, obliviousness, rich people, privilege
Transcript
Asok: May I ask some questions about your journey to success? Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Asok: I am trying to ascertain what percentage of a person's success is pure luck. For example, who hired you for your first real job? Boss: My dad. But in my defense, I interview well.
Saturday August 01,
2015
Solving Problems In Interviews
Tags interview, trick, thinking, problem
Transcript
Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.
Sunday July 26,
2015
Tags meeting, first impression, culture, interview, job interview, deception, revenge, nice, niceness, nice people, business
Transcript
Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.
Sunday July 19,
2015
Tags public speaking, presentation, question, questions, stupid, idiot, idiots, criticism, critic
Transcript
Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.
Monday June 22,
2015
Not That Invested In Your Success
Tags work ethic, laziness, communication, excuse, excuses
Transcript
Wally: I made no progress on your project because I was waiting to ask you some questions. Coworker: You could have emailed me. Or texted me. Or stopped by my desk. Wally: I"m not that invested in your success.


