Away From Boss Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Away From Boss

View 91 - 100 results for away from boss comic strips. Discover the best "Away From Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Motivosity Bucks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Motivosity Bucks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #working, #weekend, #employment, #bucks, #money, #motivosity

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: thanks for working all weekend to get the project done, dilbert. i award you two motivosity bucks. dilbert: i like real money better. boss: that just cost you two motivosity bucks.

Ted And His Laptop

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted And His Laptop - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #employment, #fired, #laptop, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: today is your last day with the company, ted. so i need your company laptop back. ted: or else what? you'll fire me twice? boss: let's say you're not officially fired until you return the laptop. ted: and if i don't bring it back, will i never be fired? boss: um...

Ted Reimagined More

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Reimagined More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #employment, #unnecessary, #job, #budget, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: when i say we need to reimagine your job, it means we no longer need anyone to do what you have been doing. ted: do you mind if i ask when you first realized that my job was totally unnecessary? boss: it was four years ago, but you seemed happy, and we had the budget to pay you, so...

Reimagine Ted's Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reimagine Ted's Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #business, #job, #new, #pay, #projects, #reimagine, #technology, #compensation

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?

Assigning Dilbert To Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Assigning Dilbert To Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #network, #redesign, #project, #phase, #positive, #optimistic, #assign, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.

Trust Coworkers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trust Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #trust, #pretend, #different

View Transcript

Transcript

in office building boss: okay, team. we can get this done if we trust each other. alice: that's not a thing. dilbert: i don't trust any of you. boss: maybe we can pretend. dilbert: i'd need to pretend we're different people.

Pick Midpoint

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pick Midpoint - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #projections, #accurate, #random, #guess, #midpoint, #decision

View Transcript

Transcript

bos: which of your two projections do you think is more accurate? dilbert: they are both random guesses. i made two of them to create an illusion of a credible range. boss: so...would it be reasonable to pick the midpoint? dilbert: it's as reasonable as your other decisions.

Dogbert 5 G Testing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert 5 G Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #5g, #testing, #low-cost, #phone, #prototype, #eggs, #fry, #silly, #qualified, #experts, #safety, #email, #bill

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i don't want to sit too near your 5G phone prototype. i worry that it will fry my eggs. boss: don't be silly. this phone was extensively tested for safety by qualified experts. boss to dogbert: i need you to test this 5G phone for safety. dogbert at desk labeled "low-cost testing: it looks fine to me. i'll email you my bill.

5 G Is 4 G

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
5 G Is 4 G - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #wireless, #service, #5g, #4g, #complain, #impossible, #phone

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we are rolling out our new 5G wireless service today. dilbert: we don't have any 5G technology. boss: it's really 4G, but no one wants that, so we call it 5G. dilbert: people will complain. boss: that's okay. we're also making it impossible to reach us by phone.

5 G Format

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
5 G Format  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #recommendation, #5g, #format, #industry, #standard, #tricking

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: and that's why i recommend creating a 5g format called orthogonal frequency division multiplexing. boss: that will never work. dilbert: it's already an industry standard. i was joking. boss: stop doing the to me. dilbert: i don't know if i can.