Being A Manager Comic Strips - Page 10
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627 Results for Being A Manager
View 91 - 100 results for being a manager comic strips. Discover the best "Being A Manager" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 05,
2016
Soulless Container Of Knowledge
Tags #robots, #artificial intelligence, #emotions, #humanity, #feelings
Transcript
Robot: Wally asked me to scan his brain and download his thoughts so I can attend meetings on his behalf. Boss: But all you are is a soulless container of knowledge. Robot: That's all Wally is, too. Boss: Stop trying to alter my worldview. Robot: Well, look who doesn't like being programmed.
Wednesday February 03,
2016
Closer To Being A Terrorist
Tags #Religion, #logic, #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #extremism, #fbi, #interrogation
Transcript
FBI Secret Facility. Asok: I am a nonviolent Hindu. You use violence as a tool, and your religion is centered around one of Islam's prophets. So... technically, you're closer to being a radical Islamic terrorist than I am. Agent: I hate engineers.
Tuesday February 02,
2016
Something About Asok Was Wrong
Tags #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #leadership, #managers, #frustration, #humor
Transcript
Boss: Where's Asok? Dilbert: The FBI took him on suspicion of being a terrorist. Boss: Now that you mention it, something about him was wrong. Dilbert: Was it his boss? Boss: Was that a joke? Dilbert: I'm not sure. I don't have a sense of humor, either.
Monday February 01,
2016
Fbi Has Been Tracking Asok
Tags #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #extremism, #frustration, #manager, #leader, #fbi
Transcript
Man: We've been tracking an accused terrorist named Asok. We believe he was radicalized here. Woman: What did you do to him? Boss: Leadership? Man: Yup. That's the top cause.
Saturday January 30,
2016
Asok Not A Terrorist
Tags #terrorist, #terrorism, #extremism, #frustration, #racism, #accusation, #accuse
Transcript
Boss: Did you threaten to kill Dick? Asok: He accused me of being a terrorist! Boss: Are you? Asok: Gaaa! I just want to blow up this whole building! Boss: Um... I need to make a call. Asok: It better not be about me!
Monday January 11,
2016
How Work Is Going
Tags #work, #existence, #happiness, #fulfillment, #frustration, #job, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.
Monday January 04,
2016
Boss Offers To Help
Tags #deadline, #help, #manager, #incompetent, #obliviousness, #extension
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't get everything done by the deadline. Boss: I'll stop by later to help. Dilbert: That's funny. Boss: What's funny? Dilbert: Using incompetence as a substitute for time.
Tuesday December 15,
2015
I Would Never Ask You To Lie
Tags #sales personnel, #lying, #sales, #ethics, #business
Transcript
Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.
Saturday November 07,
2015
Death By Emoji
Tags #emoji, #communication, #miscommunication, #murder, #crime, #deception, #engineers, #work ethic
Transcript
Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.
Thursday October 29,
2015
Human Contact Through Social Media
Tags #loneliness, #antisocial, #people, #introvert, #social media, #communication, #isolation, #technology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.