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View 91 - 100 results for committee decided comic strips. Discover the best "Committee Decided" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #over priced harware, #server upgarades, #coincidence

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The Boss: "I decided to buy all of our server upgrades through Bribertek, Inc." Dilbert: "Question: Are we buying overpriced hardware because they offered you a job?" "Because if we're paying extra to get rid of you, it's money well spent." "It's a coincidence!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #opyomotrist, #nears sighted visonaries, #nerve expect worst, #charge price

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I've decided to become an optometrist for near-sighted visionaries. "They're ideal customers because they never expect the worst." "Which price am I most likely to charge you?" "The low one!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #shave beard, #time slows, #to crawl, #envelope licker

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"I decided to shave off the beard I grew when I was waiting for my boss to get off the phone." "Beard? I hadn't noticed." "This will take awhile, so I'll wait until time slows to a crawl and do it then." "Did I ever tell you about my first job as an envelope licker?" "Click"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership meeting, #no pen, #no notes, #no decison, #no leadership

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CEO: This was a productive four hour leadership meeting, Id like one of you to type up your notes and send an email to the entire company. No one took notes? The Boss: I didn't have a pen. CEO: Okay no problem, does anyone remember what we decided? The Boss: We agreed to increase...something No, decrease something. CEO: Never mind. lets try it gain on thursday at 8AM Carol: When is the next leadership meeting? The Boss: I should have written that down.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #approve plan, #software commitee, #soar like eagles, #millions of dollars, #sidetracked, #eagles, #software, #engineering

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Dilbert: "We can either wait three months for the software committee to approve our plan..." Dilbert: "Or we can soar like eagles, and act without approval, saving millions of dollars!" Dilbert: "Please don't be sidetracked by the analogy." The Boss: "Since when do eagles use software?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticize things, #dont understnd, #kyoto treaty, #flat tax, #unfair, #stem cells

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Dogbert: I've decided to spend more time criticizing things I don't understand. I say we should flat-tax the kyoto treaty all the way back to the security council, Dilbert: wouldn't that be unfair to stem cells? Dogbert: Bah!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email spam blocker, #outgoing messages, #software, #worthless, #sentient being, #only hope, #demoralize to death, #calendar, #engineering

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Dilbert approaches The Boss and says, "Our e-mail spam blocker is stopping all incoming and outgoing messages." Dilbert continues, "Apparently the software decided that everything we do is a bunch of worthless #$!&O." Dilbert continues, "I fear that it's becoming a sentient being. Our only hope is for you to demoralize it to death." The Boss replies, "Tell it to get on my calendar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chronic lateness, #repertoire, #classic excuses, #traffic, #loserville, #jinx

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Wally says to Dilbert, "I've decided to add chronic lateness to my repertoire." Wally continues, "I'll start with the classic excuses: car problems, traffic, and misplaced items. Then I'll branch out." Dilbert says, "You're the mayor of Loserville." Wally replies, "Don't jinx it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #red color, #presentation, #yellow, #set standards, #background colors, #metero, #pointy haired, #managing nitwits, #ear hole

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "And then I would end the presentation with this." The Boss is sitting next to two other pointy-haired people. He says, "Whoa! I don't like the look of that background color." The Boss continues, "Red says danger. We don't want to scare our customers." Dilbert responds, "Um.. okay. How about yellow?" The second pointy-haired person says, "Yellow? Are we saying we're cowards?" The third pointy-haired person says, "What we need is a committee to set some standards for background colors." Dilbert responds, "What we need is a meteor to pulverize you three pointy- haired, micro-managing nitwits." After the meeting, Wally asks Dilbert, "If you didn't move your mouth, how did it get out?" Dilbert responds, "It came out of my ear hole."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #strategy council, #form a comittee, #produce document, #team, #create council, #ignores document, #business

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During a meeting, The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, put together a team to decide who'll be on the strategy council." Dilbert responds, "You want me to form a committee to create a committee that will produce a document that will be ignored?" The Boss answers, "No, it's a team to create a council." Wally raises his hand and asks, "Can I be on the team that ignores the document?"