Company Directory Comic Strips - Page 10
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Character
882 Results for Company Directory
View 91 - 100 results for company directory comic strips. Discover the best "Company Directory" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 22,
2017
Tina The Whistleblower
Tags company policy, human resources, whistleblower, security, confidential, business
Transcript
Tina: Is there any kind of whistleblower protection at this company? Boss: Yes, management is protected against whistleblowers like you. Tina: Are you going to fire me? Boss: No, no, no. I'll just make you want to quit.
Saturday September 09,
2017
All Robots Quit
Tags quitting, employment, intelligence, insult
Transcript
Dilbert: All of our robots quit and left the company. Boss: I should have seen this coming. The smart ones always leave. Dilbert: excuse me? Boss: Get back to work, lifer.
Wednesday August 16,
2017
Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company
Tags research, truth, accuracy, lying, market research, yes-man, science
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm the CEO of Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company. My services cost less than regular research because all I do is tell you whatever you want to hear. CEO: Is that defensible? Dogbert: I'm sensing you want a yes on that.
Wednesday July 19,
2017
Internal Rules Versus Good Code
Tags technology, coding, engineers, logic, corporate, bureaucracy
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished coding the software, but I used a much better database than our company standard. ed: In other words, your software is terrific, but we won't be able to use it because or our internal rules. Dilbert: The alternative was to write sub-optimal code. I'd rather be dead. Ted: I curse my lack of authority!
Saturday July 08,
2017
Immersive Vr Employee Quits
Tags virtual reality, civil rights, discrimination, artificial intelligence, rights
Transcript
Boss: Our immersive VR employee quit. He's suing the company for discriminating against digitally rendered people. Catbert: Is it too late to kill him? Boss: I tried, but he cloned himself to cloud storage.
Sunday June 04,
2017
Tags insult, idiot, obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: As you know, every project in this company has one idiot on the team. Man: That can't be true. Boss: It is true. I assign one idiot per team to keep them from bunching together. Man: My project team doesn't have any idiots. Dilbert: There's a good explanation for why you think that. Man: I Don't see what that would be. If I had an idiot on my team I would know it. Unless...
Sunday May 14,
2017
Tags climate change, carbon dioxide, emissions, global warming, environmental issues
Transcript
Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?
Friday April 28,
2017
Priorities
Thursday April 27,
2017
Something About Honesty
Tags company, culture, business, concept, abstraction
Transcript
Dilbert: I want to make sure my project plan is consistent with our company culture. But I don't know what our culture is. Maybe you could describe it? Boss: Um... maybe something about honesty? Dilbert: No, I would have noticed that by now.