Cubicle Comic Strips - Page 10
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Character
535 Results for Cubicle
View 91 - 100 results for cubicle comic strips. Discover the best "Cubicle" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 17,
2008
Tags eat, scare, Word, troll, dress code, cubicle, scaring vendors, word gets around
Transcript
Dilbert: I got reassigned to manage our legacy systems. The dress code is "troll." My cubicle is under the walkway. My side job is scaring vendors. Dogbert: Is that hard? Dilbert: Only the first day. After you eat one vendor, work gets around.
Tuesday November 04,
2008
Tags root cause, projects failure, determinist, origin of universe, cubicle destroyed, free will
Transcript
The Boss says, "Does anyone know the root cause of our project's failure?" Dilbert says, "I'm a determinist, so I'd have to say the problem goes back to the origin of the universe." The Boss says, "Why are you like this?" Dilbert says, "My cubicle destroyed my illusion of free will."
Sunday October 26,
2008
Tags carbicle, 50%car, 50% cubicle, 100% awesome, human efficiency, expression, engineer, something perfect, genius, shut up, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I call my invention a carbicle." Dilbert says, "It's 50% car, 50% cubicle, and 100% awesome." Dilbert says, "it is the ultimate expression of human efficiency." Dilbert says, "Rarely does an engineer get to create something so perfect that it can never me improved." Dilbert says, "I hesitate to use the word 'genius,' but I won't protest if others do." Dogbert says, "You should cram a bed in there." Dilbert says, "Shut up." Dogbert says, "You shut up."
Wednesday October 22,
2008
Tags graphics dept, approve outisde services, forcing to fail, justify budget, my cubicle, imagine futility
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Our graphics department is too busy to help me and won't approve outside services." Dilbert says, "They're forcing me to fail so they can justify a bigger budget next year." Dilbert says, "If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle trying to imagine what futility doesn't feel like."
Thursday April 17,
2008
Tags cubicle, envious, two monitors, one monitor, twice the work
Transcript
Alice: You let Dilbert have two flat screen monitors in his cubicle. Alice: I'm not the least bit envious, but I should point out that a worker with two monitors should be able to do twice as much work. Alice: Did you know there are some advantages to having only one monitor?
Monday April 14,
2008
Tags cell phone, complaints, private office, threat, technology
Transcript
Alice : Loud Howard insists on using his speak-phone in his cubicle. You have to do something about it. The Boss: "I'll move him to a private office that just became available. Problem solved. Alice: I need to punch you until we both forget what happened here." Asok: Gaaa!!! Dilbert: Spare the glasses.
Sunday March 09,
2008
Tags online budget approval, process making changes, classes, approval process, budget varience, broken system, charges, cubicle, billable project, exaggerating accomplishments
Transcript
Dilbert: Out online budget approval system isn't working. There's a process for making changes to the system, but I don't know it. I could take a class to learn the process, but there's also a process for approving classes. I could learn the process for approving classes, but I'd still need approval for a budget variance to take the class. And I can't get that because the online budget approval system is broken. I can't even have this conversation because it will make me charge too much of my engineering time to administrative overhead. So I'll go sit in my cubicle and pretend to be thinking about a billable project. It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year.
Tuesday February 19,
2008
Tags scary guy, electric cubicle, scare off .coworkers, keith richards effigy
Transcript
Dogbert's Electric Cubical Walls Asok: I have a leaner. I want to stun him but not kill him. Dogbert: I recommend our Keith Richards model. Asok: Maybe I should dial it back a little."
Monday February 18,
2008
Tags new guy, tall, giant, awkward, arm pits, cubicle, intimidating
Transcript
Dilbert: Don't get too friendly with the new guy. His armpits are 66 inches off the ground. Asok: He seems nice. I fail to see how the height of his armpits is relevant. Wally: You'll see. New Guy: Hey, little buddy. Let me tell you about my weekend.
Sunday February 17,
2008
Tags argument, assignment, boss, cubicle, less is more, more is less, not interchangable, wrong pharsing
Transcript
The Boss: Here's your assignment. Do it! Do it! Do it, you idiot!" Dilbert: What kind of management is that? The Boss: That's called tough love. Dilbert: Tough love only makes sense if I am doing something wrong and refuse to change. The Boss: Well, sometimes more is less. Dilbert: The saying it 'less is more,' not 'more is less. The Boss: If less equals more, then more must equal less. Duh. "This is the part where you usually refuse to admit you are wrong."

