Customer Comic Strips - Page 10
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Character
216 Results for Customer
View 91 - 100 results for customer comic strips. Discover the best "Customer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 05,
2007
Tags vendor, wait to buy, new model, sales, negotiate, business
Transcript
Dilbert: When do you expect to come out with a new model? Vendor: In about two months. Dilbert: I'll wait and buy the new model. Vendor: Did I say two months? I meant never. Dilbert: Never? That must mean your company is going out of business and won't support this product. Vendor: What's a length of time between two months and never that would cause you to buy now?" Dilbert: One year. Vendor: Our new model comes out in a year. Dilbert: I'll wait until then. Vendor: You're the worst customer ever."
Tuesday November 21,
2006
Thursday September 14,
2006
Transcript
Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."
Wednesday September 13,
2006
Monday September 11,
2006
Monday March 20,
2006
Tags customer service, deception, laziness, tech support, trick, passowrd, before lunch, required
Transcript
"Hello, I need some tech support." "What's your tech support password?" "I don't have one." "Well, then I can't help you." "Since when do you require a password?" "Usually right before lunch."
Sunday November 20,
2005
Tags scarf retrun, salesman, computer, 1000 returns, compulsive, company policy, harvest organs, sell ebay, dilmom, technology
Transcript
"I'd like to return this scarf." "What's wrong with it?" "It isn't um...scarfy enough." "I'll just run your card through the computer and..." "Uh-oh...You're on our Bad Customer list. You've returned over a thousand items to this store." "In fact, you've purchased and returned this same scarf seventeen times." "Company policy says that I have to harvest your organs and sell them on eBay." "It was good while it lasted."
Monday November 07,
2005
Tags dance club, allow anyone, screen potential customers, dance moves, incorporated air guitar
Transcript
I opened a dance club that's so exclusive I don't allow anyone in. "I personally screen every potential customer until I find a reason to exclude." "Have your dance moves ever incorporated the air guitar?" "Yes."
Wednesday August 17,
2005
Tags topper vs. a customer, dogsled race, world toughest terrain, better than, top you, cancel deal, burn to ground, go one better, more better
Transcript
Topper vs. a Customer "I competed in the Iditarod, an 1,150-mile dogsled race lasting 15 days, over the world's toughest terrain." "That's nothing. I completed the race while pretending to be one of your dogs." "Now I don't want to buy from your company." "That's nothing. Now I plan to burn my company to the ground!"
Friday August 12,
2005
Tags phishing, new hobby, fake banking emails, gullible executives, financial information, steal, password social security card
Transcript
"I have a new hobby. It's called phishing." "I send fake banking e-mails to gullible executives. Then I find out their financial information and use it to steal the money they don't deserve." Dear Customer, This is your bank. We forgot your social security number and password. Why don't you send them to us so we can protect your money. Sincerely, I. B. Banker "Looks legit."


