Didn't Ask Comic Strips - Page 10

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966 Results for Didn't Ask

View 91 - 100 results for didn't ask comic strips. Discover the best "Didn't Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.

Slavery Or Work

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Slavery Or Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #alice, #succeed, #nitpick, #slavery, #choice

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The Boss: We can only succeed if every one of you gives one hundred percent. Wally: I don't mean to nitpick, but wouldn't that technically be slavery? The Boss: No, because you have a choice. Wally: Didn't you just say the other choice is failure?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #co-workers, #phone calls, #cubicle, #breaks, #flow, #Food, #smells, #break, #room, #pretending, #thermostat

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Dilbert: My co-workers make it impossible to work. I hear every one of their phone calls. It's maddening. When they walk past my cubicle it breaks my flow. And don't get me started about the food smells coming from the break room. They ask me one dumb question after another. I don't know who keeps turning up the thermostat. But it's too hot to think. The Boss: Would it help if I threaten to fire you? Dilbert: It's worth a try I'll be in my cubicle pretending to work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #google, #data center, #software, #fix, #agile

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Dilbert: I put together a plan for our data center project. The Boss: We don't need a plan we're an agile company. It's better to move fast and fix our mistakes as we go. Dilbert: You're thinking of software. Where the cost of mistakes is low, this is a construction project. The Boss: That data center will be full of software, will it not? Dilbert: Yes, but... The Boss: Don't be afraid of change. Dilbert: What if I rapidly make a plan and tell you I didn't? Is that agile enough for you? The Boss: I'll need to google that.

Dilbert Uses Bumper Sticker Wisdom

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Dilbert Uses Bumper Sticker Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #permission, #bumper stickers, #forgive

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The Boss: Dilbert, did you reconfigure the server without my permission? Dilbert: Let me consult my collection of bumper stickers for an answer. "It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission." The Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Resending Email

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Resending Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #the boss, #project, #dead in the water, #requests, #budget

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The Boss: Wally, give me an update on your project. Wally: My project is dead in the water because every time I send you my budget request, you lose it and ask me to resend it. The Boss: I haven't seen any budget requests. Wally: I'll resend it.

Gravy On Keyboard

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Gravy On Keyboard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #tina, #gravy, #keyboard, #coffee

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Tina: Do you know why my keyboard has gravy all over it? Dilbert: Oh, sorry, my phone rang while I was eating at my desk and I didn't have a napkin so I used your keyboard. Tina: I... Don't even know how to respond to that. Wally: Phew! That's what I was hoping.

History Doesn't Repeat

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History Doesn't Repeat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #plan, #solution, #thinking, #history, #new

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Ted: Your plan is dumb because it reminds me of something different that didn't work out. Dilbert: Being reminded of unrelated things is not a form of thinking. Ted: History repeats. Dilbert: Then how does something new ever happen?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #assumption, #arguing, #logic, #argument

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Man: You said the software would be finished by today. Dilbert: I said it might be finished by today. Man: Why did you say it might be finished if you knew it wouldn't? Dilbert: I didn't know it wouldn't be finished. Man: Now you're flip-flopping all over the place. Dilbert: You're conflating your own false memories with my actions. Man: That's exactly what liars say. Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Totally normal. Unfortunately.

What Classes To Be An Engineer

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What Classes To Be An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #insult, #Advice, #logic, #engineer, #engineering

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Man: What kinds of classes should I take to become an engineer? Alice: Start by taking whatever kind of class makes you fifty percent smarter. Man: Then what? Alice: Then you won't need to ask me what to do next.

Your Lying Face

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Your Lying Face  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #assumption, #face, #facial expression, #business

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Dilbert: Why didn't you invite me to the meeting? Man: I could tell by your face that you didn't want to be invited. Dilbert: But I did want to be invited. Man: Tell that to your lying face.