Doesn't Fly Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

534 Results for Doesn't Fly

View 91 - 100 results for doesn't fly comic strips. Discover the best "Doesn't Fly" comics from Dilbert.com.

Electric Car Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Electric Car Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #labor, #time, #time management, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Welcome to the first meeting of our project to design an electric car. We've never tried to build an electric car, but how hard could it be? Dilbert: It's very hard. Boss: It doesn't feel that way. My part is mostly talk.

Men Who Meet 27 Criteria

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Men Who Meet 27 Criteria - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #attraction, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I'm looking for a man who meets my 27 criteria for a relationship. Dilbert: I'm looking for a woman who doesn't have 27 criteria for a relationship. How am I doing? Woman: Now I have 28 criteria.

Ted Has Fly Brain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Has Fly Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #greeting card, #sick, #brain damage, #marketing, #advertising, #mindless, #business, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.

Ted Has No Family

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Has No Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #judgement, #deciding, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Ted went on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs. Boss: I want to be green, but I don't know if I should side with the fly or the employee in this situation. Catbert: Well, for what it's worth, Ted doesn't have a family, but the fly does.

Pregnant Fly

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pregnant Fly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety, #accident, #osha, #hazard, #work environment

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I was walking past the employee ping-pong table and took one in the eye. This is an unsafe work environment. Gaaa!!! A fly went up my nose! Catbert: It looked pregnant.

Dilbert Doesn't Need Vacations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Doesn't Need Vacations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation, #work ethic, #workload, #time off

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Company policy says you have to take a vacation. Dilbert: I don't want one. I would be bored for a week and come back to all the work that piled up while I was gone. Boss: Nothing about you is normal. Dilbert: Thank you.

Deciding Which Liar You Prefer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Deciding Which Liar You Prefer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #choices, #voting, #election, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #freedom, #free will, #schedule, #work load, #stress, #free time, #breaks, #lunch

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Schedule your training during your lunch hours so it doesn't impact your projects. Dilbert: But... my lunch hour is the only freedom I experience in a typical day. The rest of my time is either scheduled to the minute or driven by whatever crisis is happening. Please don't take my lunch hour and reduce me to nothing but a prisoner in a digital chain gang. I'm barely clinging to my illusion of free will as it is. This could push me over the edge. If you take away my one hour of freedom in the day, I might as well be a robot. Boss: Relax. This is temporary. Dilbert: For how long? Boss: Until I can replace you with a robot.

Elbonians Steal Encryption Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonians Steal Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #encryption, #technology, #national security, #privacy, #terrorism, #terrorist

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian 1: I stole the enemy's encryption-breaking software. Elbonian 2: My phone doesn't have a hole for this. I think it needs an adapter or something. Elbonian 1: Is it time to admit we're in over our heads? Elbonian 2: Why are the heathens so good at this stuff?

New Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #generic, #job, #placeholder, #disposable, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.