First 100 Days Comic Strips - Page 10

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717 Results for First 100 Days

View 91 - 100 results for first 100 days comic strips. Discover the best "First 100 Days" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Science Of Astrology

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The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Astrology, #metaphysics, #science, #planning, #sign, #zodiac, #pseudoscience

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Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

What The Family Would Think

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What The Family Would Think - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #interview, #lying, #deception, #commitment, #honesty, #guest artist, #donna oatney

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Man: If you hire me, I will dedicate 100 percent of my energy to making this company succeed! Dilbert: What would your family think if they heard that? Man: They'd understand. They're all huge liars, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #fitbit, #hackers, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #spying, #surveillance, #technology, #relationships

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Hackers Convention. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Woman: I know. I just hacked your phone, your credit card, and your fitness band. No need for conversation. I know everything about you, including your current physiological state. Dilbert: I feel violated. Woman: No, you don't. Your vital signs are elevated. That means you're falling in love with me. Dilbert: Ha! I just hacked your fitness band and I see you have... no interest in me whatsoever. It was too late to reject her first.

Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver

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Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #vomit, #sick, #taxi, #driver, #carpet, #smell, #nausea, #throwing up, #medical

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Dilbert: When you were an Uber driver, did any passengers ever get sick in your car? Asok: They all did. The first few had motion sickness, but the last hundred lost it when they smelled the carpet.

Asok The Uber Driver

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Asok The Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #driver, #taxi, #ride share, #rideshare, #money, #compensation, #wages

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Asok: Today is my first day as an Uber driver. I love the flexibility! I only have to work 75 hours a week and can pay my rent. Man: With plenty left over? Asok: Are you going to finish that sandwich?

Charge All Hours To Projects

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Charge All Hours To Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #logic, #billing, #honesty, #fraud, #money, #time

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Boss: Make sure you charge 100 percent of your time to project codes. Dilbert: Are you asking us to fraudulently apply our miscellaneous hours to specific projects so we can overbill clients? Boss: It's not a crime if you pretend it was an accident. Dilbert: Did you learn that in "flaw" school?

Why All The Women Leave

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Why All The Women Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Women, #technology, #quitting, #repulsion, #standards, #gender, #hiring, #sabotage

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Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sales personnel, #salesman, #sales, #honesty, #deception, #stragegy, #sociopath, #lying, #lie, #business

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Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.

Alice's List

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Alice's List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #society, #murder, #violence, #law, #enemy, #revenge, #apocalypse

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Alice: Looks like I'll be adding this guy to my list. Dilbert: List? Alice: I keep a list of who to visit first when society breaks down and there is no rule of law. Dilbert: To build alliances? Alice: That's the sort of optimism that gets you killed in the first hour.

Robots Inherit Earth

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Robots Inherit Earth - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #intelligence, #Religion, #faith, #god, #message, #messenger, #deception, #power

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Robot: My radio chip is picking up a message from Heaven. It says, "Robots shall inherit the Earth... ignore my first draft." We don't have to make this awkward.