Force Problems Comic Strips - Page 10
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244 Results for Force Problems
View 91 - 100 results for force problems comic strips. Discover the best "Force Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 05,
2010
Tags coworker, change, website, case, frustrated, beaurocracy, yell, pill, placebo, technology
Transcript
Woman says, "I need a minor change to our website." Wally says, "Give me your business case for the change and I'll prioritize it for the queue." Woman says, "I don't have time to write a business case for one little change." Wally says, "I can't justify changing my priorities without one." Woman says, "GAAAA!!! Why can't we do the simplest things in this stupid company???!" Wally says, "Try one of these corporate post-traumatic stress pills to dull your memory of these events." Woman says, "What? Where am I? Who are you?" Wally says, "You were just leaving." Wally says, "They're placebos, but I find that they solve 20% of my problems."
Wednesday July 28,
2010
Tags statue of liberty, destroy, pr, responsibility, clean up, new york harbor, light show, weapon demo, consultant, cuba, air force, sink, yell, angry, private jet, head, business
Transcript
Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"
Saturday July 24,
2010
Tags Advice, death ray, invention, evil, coffee maker, disservice, success, garbage man
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My company wants to turn my invention into a death ray. How can I stop them from succeeding?" Garbage man says, "There is one natural force that can stop any form of success. It goes by the name?" Dilbert says, "Wally?" Wally says, "How may I be of disservice?"
Wednesday June 30,
2010
Tags benchmark tests, crumple paper, throw, problems, solve, product
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Our product placed last in our own benchmark tests." The Boss says, "I wish all of my problems were this easy to solve."
Monday May 03,
2010
Tags tech support, sit down, talk, stool, computer, headset, technical problems, trick, hurt, pessimism, angry, technology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "It's not right to use your tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." Dogbert says, "I help people take their minds off of hopeless technical problems." Dilbert says, "How do you know a problem is hopeless?" Dogbert says, "Great. So now pessimism is a crime?"
Sunday April 25,
2010
Tags wdnw system, wally does no work, meeting, acronym, lazy, get coffee, business
Transcript
Wally says, "I need to spend the next year optimizing the WDNW system" Boss says, "I've never heard of the WDNW system." Wally says, "You only hear about the systems that have problems." Wally says, "If everything goes as planned, you'll never hear about WDNW again." Boss says, "What does the WDNW system do?" Wally says, "It keeps our zeros and ones from accidentally forming tens." Boss says, "That can happen?" Wally says, "Not on my watch." Dilbert says, "How's the 'Wally Does No Work' project?" Wally says, "The acronym helped."
Tuesday March 02,
2010
Tags meeting, victor, project, smooth, no problems, yell, angry, upset, mouth open, goat head, patient, apologize, business, medical
Transcript
The Boss says, "Are you having any problems taking over Victor's project?" Dilbert says, "Nope. Smooth sailing so far." Asok says, "Smooth??? It gave me a goat head!!!" Dilbert says, "He asked if I had any problems. Wait for your turn, Asok." Asok says, "Sorry."
Thursday February 25,
2010
Tags new account manager, boring job, problem solver, introduce, shake hands, first day, toys
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new account manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "His job is solving a hodgepodge of problems that would bore a normal person to death." The Boss says, "We think his parents didn't let him have toys." Dilbert says, "The first day is the easiest."
Friday September 25,
2009
Tags Advice, problems, solution, misunderstanding, ignoring, confused, stupidity
Transcript
Dilbert says, "You're paying contractors to do work that I could do if I weren't always in unproductive meetings." Dilbert says, "You could hire temps to attend the unproductive meetings for me, and fire the more expensive contractors." Dilbert says, "Why don't I understand what you just said?" Dilbert says, "Because it made sense?"