Force Problems Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for force problems comic strips. Discover the best "Force Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coworker, change, website, case, frustrated, beaurocracy, yell, pill, placebo, technology

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Woman says, "I need a minor change to our website." Wally says, "Give me your business case for the change and I'll prioritize it for the queue." Woman says, "I don't have time to write a business case for one little change." Wally says, "I can't justify changing my priorities without one." Woman says, "GAAAA!!! Why can't we do the simplest things in this stupid company???!" Wally says, "Try one of these corporate post-traumatic stress pills to dull your memory of these events." Woman says, "What? Where am I? Who are you?" Wally says, "You were just leaving." Wally says, "They're placebos, but I find that they solve 20% of my problems."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags statue of liberty, destroy, pr, responsibility, clean up, new york harbor, light show, weapon demo, consultant, cuba, air force, sink, yell, angry, private jet, head, business

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Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, death ray, invention, evil, coffee maker, disservice, success, garbage man

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Dilbert says, "My company wants to turn my invention into a death ray. How can I stop them from succeeding?" Garbage man says, "There is one natural force that can stop any form of success. It goes by the name?" Dilbert says, "Wally?" Wally says, "How may I be of disservice?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags benchmark tests, crumple paper, throw, problems, solve, product

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Dilbert says, "Our product placed last in our own benchmark tests." The Boss says, "I wish all of my problems were this easy to solve."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tech support, sit down, talk, stool, computer, headset, technical problems, trick, hurt, pessimism, angry, technology

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Dilbert says, "It's not right to use your tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." Dogbert says, "I help people take their minds off of hopeless technical problems." Dilbert says, "How do you know a problem is hopeless?" Dogbert says, "Great. So now pessimism is a crime?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wdnw system, wally does no work, meeting, acronym, lazy, get coffee, business

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Wally says, "I need to spend the next year optimizing the WDNW system" Boss says, "I've never heard of the WDNW system." Wally says, "You only hear about the systems that have problems." Wally says, "If everything goes as planned, you'll never hear about WDNW again." Boss says, "What does the WDNW system do?" Wally says, "It keeps our zeros and ones from accidentally forming tens." Boss says, "That can happen?" Wally says, "Not on my watch." Dilbert says, "How's the 'Wally Does No Work' project?" Wally says, "The acronym helped."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, victor, project, smooth, no problems, yell, angry, upset, mouth open, goat head, patient, apologize, business, medical

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The Boss says, "Are you having any problems taking over Victor's project?" Dilbert says, "Nope. Smooth sailing so far." Asok says, "Smooth??? It gave me a goat head!!!" Dilbert says, "He asked if I had any problems. Wait for your turn, Asok." Asok says, "Sorry."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new account manager, boring job, problem solver, introduce, shake hands, first day, toys

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new account manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "His job is solving a hodgepodge of problems that would bore a normal person to death." The Boss says, "We think his parents didn't let him have toys." Dilbert says, "The first day is the easiest."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, problems, solution, misunderstanding, ignoring, confused, stupidity

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Dilbert says, "You're paying contractors to do work that I could do if I weren't always in unproductive meetings." Dilbert says, "You could hire temps to attend the unproductive meetings for me, and fire the more expensive contractors." Dilbert says, "Why don't I understand what you just said?" Dilbert says, "Because it made sense?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, discussion, news, angry, ridicule, joke, humor, business

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The Boss says, "From now on, we will refer to all of our problems as opportunities." Carol says, "One of your idiot spawn was playing with the oven and burned down your house." Wally says, "Camping opportunity?"