Forty Hours Training Comic Strips - Page 10
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384 Results for Forty Hours Training
View 91 - 100 results for forty hours training comic strips. Discover the best "Forty Hours Training" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 11,
2014
Tags engineers, work ethic, personal lifestley engineer, career advice, work and leisure, hours per week, ideal means
Transcript
Woman: What kind of engineer are you? Wally: I'm a personal lifestyle engineer. I engineer my career to achieve an ideal balance of work and leisure. Woman: How many hours per week do you work? Wally: I don't think you know what "ideal" means.
Wednesday July 09,
2014
Tags frustration, work ethic, bad mood, personal problem, work, time, no time
Transcript
Boss: I wonder why everyone is in a bad mood lately. Catbert: Maybe they have personal problems. Boss: How could they have time for personal problems when I work them 70 hours a week? Catbert: Then I don't know what it is.
Tuesday July 08,
2014
Tags frustration, mental health, work ethic, bad attitude, 70 hr. wk.week, hire insane, whistle, happy tune
Transcript
Boss: You have a bad attitude lately. Alice: You made me work 70 hours this week. If you want people who work for free and are happy about it, hire the insane. Boss: I tried that, but I got the wrong kind. Alice: I'll whistle a happy tune if you go away.
Monday June 30,
2014
Tags frustration, hypocrisy, mandatory training, no use, meetings, regulatory paperwork, make a point, productive
Transcript
Boss: You didn't accomplish anything this month. Dilbert: Sure I did. I did the mandatory training that has no use, attended your mandatory meetings that don't help, and filled out regulatory paperwork for things we don't do. Boss: Are you trying to make a point? Dilbert: Nope. Just being productive.
Friday March 21,
2014
Tags telecommunication lines, work ethic, studies show, telecommunters, survey people, lying weasles, level of awareness
Transcript
Wally: You should let me work at home a few days per week because studies show that telecommuters put in more hours. Boss: How do they study that sort of thing? Wally: They survey people who work at home. Boss: What if those people are lying weasels? Wally: I wasn't counting on this level of awareness.
Tuesday February 18,
2014
Tags ignorance (knowledge), sleeping & waking up, five hours of sleep, sleep deprivation, lowers intelligence, 1000% raise
Transcript
Boss: I'm training myself to get by on five hours of sleep per night. Carol: Studies show that sleep deprivation lowers your functional intelligence. Boss: Not it not be doesn't. Carol? Can I have a thousand percent raise?
Monday February 03,
2014
Tags baked products, coaches & coaching, stress, will power is finite, cake for lunch, coaching session, long hours
Transcript
Boss: Studies say willpower is finite. If you use it for one thing, you have less for another. So if it feels hard to work long hours, without any reward, try eating cake for lunch. Wally: How'd your coaching session go? Dilbert: For once, it wasn't all bad.
Sunday December 08,
2013
Tags executives, laziness, managers & supervisors, famous leaders, copy, 16 hrs a day, reading about industry, leaders eat cake, business
Transcript
Dogbert: I have studied the practices of famous leaders so you can copy them. First, work sixteen hours every day. Boss & CEO: Sixteen hours?? Dogbert: And in your spare time, you should be reading about your industry to stay current. Boss & CEO: Reading??? Dogbert: Oookay. This isn't working. Suppose I told you that famous leaders eat a lot of cake? That took a creepy turn.
Thursday December 05,
2013
Tags internet & world wide web, managers & supervisors, work ethic, facebook, work, home, unpaid work, business
Transcript
Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.
Monday November 04,
2013
Tags burglars & robbers, frustration, lab, stealing back cables, worse problem, boss, adds fuel to fire
Transcript
Dilbert: Every time I leave the lab, some jerk steals my cables and replaces them with their bad ones. Then I have to spend hours stealing back one cable at a time and testing each one. Boss: Doesn't that make you one of the cable-stealing jerks? Dilbert: You've never met a problem you couldn't worsen.