Hows My Walking Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for hows my walking comic strips. Discover the best "Hows My Walking" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cpg project, #confused, #leader, #team, #face front, #back, #walk away, #flippant, #useless, #forget, #frustrated, #angry, #comfort, #hand on shoulder, #shake, #clench teeth, #hair stand up, #business

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The Boss says, "How's the CPG project coming along?" Dilbert says, "How would I know?" The Boss says, "You're leading that project." Dilbert says, "I am? Since when?" The Boss says, "I told everyone on the team two months ago." Dilbert says, "I'm not on the team. You never told me." The Boss says, "Whatever, go tell the team you've been in charge for the past two months and see what they've accomplished." The Boss says, "Who is on the team?" The Boss says, "I forget. I think one had dark hair. And another one was sad." The Boss says, "Don't tell them there's a duplicate project in another division." Wally says, "You'll be okay. Just release the caring. Let it go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #focus group, #surprise, #chair, #sleeping gas, #plotting

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The Boss says, "How's the focus group coming along?" Dilbert says, "They don't like us. They're plotting to storm our observation room." The Boss says, "Release the sleeping gas." Dilbert says, "CHAIR!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #volunteering, #mean, #cruel, #elbonians, #tired, #complaining, #cutting, #lawn, #mowing, #Sports

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Dogbert says, "It feels good when you volunteer to help others." Dogbert says, "that's why I talked some poor Elbonians into mowing our lawn for free. I want them to feel the joy of giving." Elbonian says, "All I'm feeling is tired." Elbonian says, "Try doing it faster."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #auditor, #taxes, #inspection, #confused, #corruption

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Dogbert the CEO Man says, "I'm here to do a tax audit of your company." Dogbert says, "How's that work?" Man says, "I look for reasons to transfer money from small, disreputable entities to a larger one." Man says, "I call my salary vigorish, but it's not as ironic as it once was."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #aspirations, #plan, #ridicule, #grumpy

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Wally says, "My dream is to someday be like you." Wally says, "I hope to advance from being totally worthless to being totally worthless and overpaid." Dilbert says, "How's your role model?" Wally says, "Grumpy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #talking, #confused, #analyzing, #worried, #panic, #injury, #Sports

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The boss says, "I can't understand why?" Dilbert says, "Why did you suddenly stop talking?" Dilbert says, "Oh no?this can't be good." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!!! Now you're not making eye contact with me!" Dilbert says, "Layoffs are coming! I must be on the list!" Dilbert thinks, "My only hope is to injure myself and go on disability so he can't legally fire me." Dilbert says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" The Boss says, "Anyway, as I was saying I can't figure out why so many employees are injured."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #complaining, #cruel, #mean, #mother, #son, #Family, #Sports

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Dilmom Dilmom says, "How's work, Dilbert?" Dilbert says, "I'm doing the job of three people and my pay has been cut 20%" Dilbert says, "My investments are worthless and my odds of finding a suitable mate are nearing zero." Dilbert says, "My life has no meaning, no joy and no hope." Dilbert says, "Do you have any motherly advice?" Dilmom says, "Shake it off, you big wuss." Dilmom says, "And you can pass that wisdom to the grandchildren you won't be having." Dilbert says, "You're not good at this." Dilmom says, "Eat broccoli. Whatever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carrying, #downsizing, #cruel, #dying, #walking, #Sports

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Catbert says, "We can save the most money by downsizing the unhealthiest workers first." The boss says, "How do we know who they are?" Catbert says, "We'll close the parking lot that's nearest the building." Asok says, "Should we help them?" Wally says, "It's too late for broccoli."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #talking, #complaining, #Sports

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Dilbert says, "today I got in trouble for not doing something that I wasn't aware needed to be done." Dilbert says, "Yesterday I got in trouble for doing something that no one asked me to do, but needed to be done." Dilbert says, "Tomorrow I plan to sit in my cubicle like a frozen you-know-what and avoid all human contact." Dogbert says, "Does it rhyme with 'Bird'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #guard, #job, #transfer, #market, #economy, #stealing, #business, #Sports

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Catbert says, "You can have your old job back, but your compensation will reflect the new market reality." Catbert says, "You'll get a small base salary plus anything you can sneak past the guard in the lobby." Dilbert thinks, "These aren't the droids you're looking for."