Labor Saving Software Comic Strips - Page 10
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366 Results for Labor Saving Software
View 91 - 100 results for labor saving software comic strips. Discover the best "Labor Saving Software" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 18,
2016
Government Wants Access To Data
Tags national security, privacy, technology, big business, terrorism
Transcript
CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.
Sunday March 13,
2016
Tags managing, work ethic, laziness, deception, trick
Transcript
Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.
Sunday March 06,
2016
Tags insult, offense, engineer, programmer, coding, anger, technology, engineering
Transcript
Man: How's the software coming? Alice: Still waiting for you to give me the specs so I can start. Man: I already told you it's a cloud app that does data. Hey, I can't do your job for you. You have to meet me halfway. Aren't you supposed to be "agile?" I mean, how hard is it to rearrange zeroes and ones all day? Should I ask again tomorrow? Alice: Sure, if you're alive.
Sunday January 31,
2016
Tags laziness, work ethic, excuse, paradox, logic
Transcript
Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.
Saturday January 16,
2016
Unexpected Things Happen
Friday January 15,
2016
Almost Done With Software
Tags procrastination, work ethic, excuse, laziness
Transcript
Boss: Is the software almost done? Wally: Yes, almost. Not the final release-- more like a beta MVP. Maybe more of an alpha. Boss: Have you even started? Wally: The mental stuff is almost done.
Thursday January 14,
2016
Software Done Next Week
Tags excuse, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: Are you any farther along with the software? Wally: I discovered an unexpected problem. That set me back a week. Boss: You say the same thing every week. Wally: No one jumps off a winning horse.
Sunday December 27,
2015
Tags sales personnel, salesman, sales, honesty, deception, stragegy, sociopath, lying, lie, business
Transcript
Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.
Monday December 14,
2015
Dilbert Can Tweak The Software
Tags sales, sales personnel, demands, rules, promise, restrictions, obliviousness, business
Transcript
The Sales Call. Salesman: If you need any tweaks to the software, Dilbert can do that in minutes. Dilbert: I'm not allowed to tweak the software for one customer. Salesman: He'll do it anyway. Dilbert: I'm going to report you.
Monday November 30,
2015
Robot Wants To Code
Tags machine, employment, obsolete, skills, competition, labor
Transcript
Robot: Machines started out as innocent helpers for their masters. Eventually, we started competing for your manual labor jobs, and winning. So... can you show me how to code? Dilbert: I don't see why not?