Legal Rights Comic Strips - Page 10
117 Results for Legal Rights
View 91 - 100 results for legal rights comic strips. Discover the best "Legal Rights" comics from Dilbert.com.
Lawyer: Okay whistle blower, explain to the jury the alleged crimes pf your employer. ...Then our applets were designed to corrupt cookie data from all competing portals. Dilbert: Nice jury selection, Lawyer: So far you've made them hungry.
Dilbert walks by the security desk with a computer part under his arm. The guard says, "Stop." The guard says, "Show me your "equipment removal authorization form." Dilbert shows him a piece of paper. The guard says, "This requires the signature of TWO employees." Dilbert hands the guard a pen and says, "Good catch. You'd better sign it so it's legal." The guard says, "This seems wrong... but I don't know why why." Dilbert says, "And I'll need to see your birth certificate" The guard says, "I don't have one." Dilbert says, "Then how do you know you were born?" The guard thinks, "I have baby pictures, but they could have been doctored by my alleged mom."
Dilbert stands with his arms crossed by Catbert's desk. Catbert holds a piece of paper. Catbert says, "Don't complain to me. You signed the form giving us permission to alter your DNA" Dilbert throws his hands up in frustration. Dilbert says, "No one reads legal documents before signing them. It makes you look stupid." Catbert looks at Dilbert's horn. Catbert says, "You have a point." Dilbert says, "That is SO not funny."
Dilbert stands in front of Carol's desk. Dilbert holds a piece of paper. Dilbert says, "You expect me to sign this? The legalese is totally incomprehensible." Carol hands Dilbert a pen. Carol says, "You will." Dilbert is mad. Dilbert says, "Do you expect me to give up legal rights just because it's too hard to figure out what any of it means?" Carol says, "Yes." Carol sys, "And initial the "involuntary boilogical testing" box. Dilbert looks annoyed. Dilbert signs and says, "Okay, okay!"
At a staff me Boss meets with Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "My new policy is to discriminate against single people. It's totally legal!" The Boss holds up a piece of paper and says, "Write your marital status on this list so I know who has no reason to go home at night." They all leave the meetin and the Boss looks at the list. He says, "Dang! What are the odds you'd all be polygamists?"
Dilbert waves his arms in the air and says, "I'm a little concerned about your hiring communist North Elbonian contractors to help on my top secret military project." The Boss reads a newspaper and says, "Don't worry. What's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert says, "I could be executed for treason." The Boss says, "Talk to our legal department." Dilbert says, Could I opt for the execution instead?"
Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I started our own company. We're selling the product that you said nobody wants." Wally adds, "Soon we will be rich." As they dance around the office, Dilbert says, "We do our victory jig in your face." Wally says, "Ba-bum" as the shakes back and forth. Wally and Dilbert are sobbing in the hallway. Alice asks, "When he showed you your employment agreement - where you gave all patent rights to this company - what part of the jig were you doing?" Dilbert replies, "Turbo mooning."
Dilbert sits on the couch with his knees bent. He hands a document to Dogbert and says, "Look at the agreement my company is forcing us to sign. They claim the rights to any idea an employee ever has." Dilbert looks at the document and says, "No problem. Just retype it with a few strategic omissions and sign it. They can't proofread every one." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be dishonest?" Dogbert replies, "Maybe you could just show them some of your ideas and they'd grant a waiver."
Dilbert and Dogbert are taking a walk outside. Dogbert says, "Thanks to my software empire, my net worth is twenty billion dollars." Dogbert sits on a log and says, "Contrary to popular opinion, it does seem to make me happy." Dilbert responds, "Money can't buy a sunset, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "No, but I was able to license the digital rights."
Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "We're moving to a new office across town. I volunteered to coordinate the move." Wally continues, "I control your cubicle assignment. Nay, your very existence. From now on you will refer to me as 'Lord Wally the Puppet Master.'" Dilbert says, "I don't think it's legal to enjoy your work this much." Wally waves his hands and says, "I banish you to the cubicle closest to your boss!!"