Light Show Comic Strips - Page 10
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374 Results for Light Show
View 91 - 100 results for light show comic strips. Discover the best "Light Show" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 16,
2013
Tags fear, change is good, don't fear change, sickness and death, alarming symptoms
Transcript
Boss: Do not fear change because change is good. Dilbert: Actually, studies show that any big changes in a person's life vastly increase the odds of sickness and death. Wally: Are you trying to kill us? Dilbert: I can't feel my arm!
Sunday December 16,
2012
Tags employees, late, chronically late, pre meeting, trick, chronic lateness, power, selfish, bad attitude, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Let's meet before the project meeting to go over a few things. Coworker: Nice try. We chronically late people know when we're being played. Your pre-meeting is a trick to get me to show up on time for the real meeting. But that won't work because poor planning isn't the cause of my chronic lateness. I make people wait for me because I enjoy the power and I don't care about anyone's feelings. Dilbert: Fine. I'll see you at the project meeting at ten. Coworker: Nice try. I know the meeting is at 10:30. Dilbert: How do you keep a job? Coworker: That attitude is exactly why I don't like people.
Saturday December 08,
2012
Tags grass roots politics, taxes, work ethic, initiative, grass roots movement, raise taxes, checkmate, income level
Transcript
Boss: Carol, I can't give you a raise this year because you didn't show enough initiative. Carol: I just formed a grass-roots movement to convince the government to raise taxes on people at your income level. Checkmate. Boss: That can't be legal.
Saturday November 03,
2012
Tags interviews, 10thousand hours, practice, expertise, resume, job interview, incompetent menace, interview practice, manager resposibility
Transcript
Boss: Studies show that it takes 10,000 hours of focused practice to become an expert at anything. According to your resume, you've only had enough database experience to be an incompetent menace. Interviewee: How many hours have you practiced doing interviews? Boss: I don't like where this is headed.
Thursday November 01,
2012
Tags cubicle workplaces, lowers intelligence, work ethic, office, boss
Transcript
Dilbert: I would be more productive with my own office. Studies show that cubicle workplaces lower intelligence. Boss: You can't be sure that's true because your cubicle lowered your intelligence. Dilbert: Wait... why does that make sense? Boss: Because I have an office.
Thursday September 20,
2012
Tags anger, laziness, socially contagious, lazy vibe, killing motivation, angry
Transcript
Studies show that attitudes are socially contagious. I'm getting a lazy vibe from this idiot. It's totally killing my motivation. Oh, great. Now I'm unmotivated and angry, too.
Tuesday September 11,
2012
Tags exhibitions, fish & aquatic mammals, remora, trade show, marine animal, freakishly persuaive
Transcript
Asok: Have you selected a remora for your visit to the trade show? Coworker: What's a remora? Asok: A remora is a fish that suctions to the back of a larger marine animal. Coworker: He's not comfortable in crowds, but he's freakishly persuasive.
Monday July 02,
2012
Tags dating, extra hetero, more attractive, relationships, smiling
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies show that smiling makes you more attractive. Wally: Is it working. Dilbert: I just became extra hetero.
Friday May 11,
2012
Tags disc jockeys, protest movements, threatening boycott, dogcart insulted, organic substance
Transcript
Dilbert: Customers are threatening to boycott us if we continue to advertise on Dogbert's radio show. Dogbert insulted every man, woman, child and organic substance in the known universe. He called the moon something that rhymes with totem. Boss: Modem?
Sunday May 06,
2012
Tags booth, brochure, exhibitions, exhibitor expenses, expenses, huge crowds, last 11 years, logo sign, new customers, popular booth, spillover, steal chair, trade show, video of incident, youtube
Transcript
Boss: How did we do at the trade show? Dilbert: We had a huge crowd around our booth the entire time. But it was just the spillover from the popular booth next to us. The only person who asked for our brochure used it to kill a spider. Some guy tried to steal our extra chair and then Alice beat him senseless with our logo sign. A video of the incident is already on YouTube. It cost us $200,000 to be an exhibitor and we gained zero new customers. So it was just like the last eleven years. Boss: I feel good about next year!


