Low Cost Comic Strips - Page 10

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288 Results for Low Cost

View 91 - 100 results for low cost comic strips. Discover the best "Low Cost" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #piece of paper, #request, #office, #deadline, #vague, #failure, #work hard

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Dilbert says, "The request we got for a quote is vague, and the deadline for our response is tomorrow." Dilbert says, "If I ask for clarity, we'll miss the the deadline. If I don't, our bid will either be below our cost or too high to win." Dilbert says, "Which path of certain failure do you prefer?" The Boss says, "I like the one that makes you work the hardest."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friend matrix, #coworker, #sit at computer, #computer expert, #frisky friend, #low standards

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Coworker says, "I'm updating my friend resource matrix and I have a few gaps." Coworker says, "I already have a friend with a truck, a friend who gives me free tickets, and a friend with tools." Coworker says, "I've got openings for a computer expert friend and a frisky friend with low standards." Dilbert says, "I'll try the computer one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales bonus level, #happy, #smile, #employee, #salesman, #too low

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The Boss says, "Ken, you've almost reached your sales bonus level with time to spare." The Boss says, "Obviously I set your bonus threshold too low. I'll need to adjust it upward retroactively." Ken says, "Maybe I'm just a great salesperson!" The Boss says, "That's the spirit! Stay hungry!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new boyfriend, #coworker, #angry, #jack, #clench fist, #engineer, #social, #engineering

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Alice says, "Dilbert, meet my new boyfriend, angry Jack." Alice says, "People say my high level of engineering skill comes at the cost of good social judgment." Dilbert says, "Alice, his name is Angry Jack." Alice says, "I think he wants to hold my hand now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confession, #schedule, #calendar, #lazy, #self-esteem, #annoyed

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Carol says, "For the past five years I've managed your calendar based solely on what would create the least work for me." Carol says, "It all started when you told me to use my judgment to set priorities." Carol says, "In retrospect, you should have hired someone with low self-esteem."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeeting, #car rental, #small, #low self-esteem, #raise hand, #upset

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Dilbert says, "If my low self-esteem seems low, that's because I drove here in a rented tuna can on wheels." Dilbert says, "It was such a bad automotive experience that I can't even pretend you should care what I have to say." Dilbert says, "I loathe myself and the company that pays me. Who's with me on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes

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Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director of human resources, #payroll expenses low, #bad reviews, #employees, #defects, #list, #faults, #alphabetical, #business

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Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb?" Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously alphabetical."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #magic button, #cost estimates, #push, #phrase, #swear

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Dilbert says, "This is a magic button." Dilbert says, "Any time you ask for cost estimates, I push the button and it guides me." Button says, "Pull the numbers out of your?" Dilbert says, "It only says the one thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #high priorities, #standing, #coffee, #vendor comparison, #face front, #work ethic, #lazy, #suspicious, #annoyed

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The Boss says, "Wally, did you finish the vendor comparison?" Wally says, "I'm proud to say I did not." Wally says, "You told me to focus on my highest priorities, and that wasn't one of them." The Boss says, "So? when can I expect it?" Wally says, "Logically, that would be never." Wally says, "If that task ever became the most important thing I was doing, you'd eliminate my position." The Boss says, "True. But at least you're getting the high priority stuff done, right?" Wally says, "So far, it's taking all of my energy to avoid doing the low priorities."