Lying Comic Strips - Page 10

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164 Results for Lying

View 91 - 100 results for lying comic strips. Discover the best "Lying" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags story, topping, bragging, ridiculous, lying, annoyed

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Topper Alice says, "I went for a long walk yesterday." Topper says, "That's nothing." Topper says, "My thighs are so strong that I'm afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead." Alice says, "You're full of beans." Man says, "Exactly. That's how I achieve escape velocity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuses, lying down, table, reading, agenda, sleeping, lazy

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Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bragging, birth, doubtful, editing, wikipedia, lying

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Topper Carol says, "My first baby weighed 12 pounds. I gave birth in the cap of a stolen backhoe." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I once passed a gallstone so big that it became secretary of labor in the Clinton administration." Carol says, "I find that hard to believe." Topper says, "Give me ten minutes and then check wikipedia."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags therapist, imagination, prank, lying down, cruel, psychology

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Dilbert says, "I worry that the bolzmann brain hypothesis is true and my reality is entirely imagined." Dilbert says, "But if I'm imagining my life, why don't I imagine better things happening to me?" Therapist thinks, "I'll probably regret this practical joke." Mmmm

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, investing, con, violence, lying

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Man says, "I'm thinking of investing in the Dogbert hedge fund." Man says, "Can you explain how it works?" Dogbert says, "It's simple I take your money and then use math to turn it into my money while destroying the overall economy." Man says, "Is that legal?" Dogbert says, "More so than you'd think." Man says, "What's in it for me?" Dogbert says, "My inflated claims will give you false hope." Dogbert says, "That way you won't stress out until after you retire and discover you're penniless." Man says, "But I..." Bonk! Ugh! Man says, "I don't remember the last five minutes." Dogbert says, "I was telling you that my hedge fund will earn you 520% per year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, deception, lying confusion, business

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The boss says, "This is Phil, our new vice president of marginally legal activities." The boss says, "He'll be leading the effort to make our user interfaces so confusing that people have to pay us for training." Dilbert says, "We already do that unintentionally." The boss says, "Sure, but we can't always rely on luck."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, lying, disgust, business

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Dilbert says, "Our risk management software says your idea is too risky." The boss says, "Try reducing one of the inputs." Dilbert says, "Which one?" the boss says, "Honesty" Dilbert says, "I just threw up in my mouth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sarcasm, lying down, therapy, psychology

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Dilbert says, "I've fallen in love with my phone." Dilbert says, "It entertains me. It knows where I am. It responds to my touch. It never judges me." Psychiatrist says, "So, it's like a woman to you." Dilbert says, "Way better." Dilbert says, "Are your even listening?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, lying, deception

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The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags worker, deception, lying

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The boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new director of marketecture." The boss says, "He's in charge of preventing customers from realizing what they're buying." the boss says, "It's legal because we're only violating the intent of the law." man says, "I can do a thousand push-ups when no one is looking."