Managers & Supervisors Comic Strips - Page 10
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396 Results for Managers & Supervisors
View 91 - 100 results for managers & supervisors comic strips. Discover the best "Managers & Supervisors" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 27,
2020
Ted Talks Might Take Your Job
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #social media, #technology, #instagram, #ted talks, #smart, #moron
Transcript
boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.
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Wednesday March 25,
2020
Hiring Morons And Ted
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #labor, #market, #hire, #moron, #position, #ted talk, #video, #smart
Transcript
boss: the labor market is so tight that i had to hire a moron just to fill a position. my plan is to make him watch ted talk videos until he smartens up. dilbert: how many will it take? boss: with any luck, fifteen to seventeen will get it done.
Tuesday March 17,
2020
Hiring Morons
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #technical, #job, #market, #hire, #moron, #critical
Transcript
boss: the job market is so hot right now that we can only afford to hire morons. dilbert: how will we fill our critical technical jobs? boss: i just told you.
Sunday March 15,
2020
Mandatory Blockchain Class
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call
Transcript
boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.
Monday March 09,
2020
Dogbert In The Cloud
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #personal, #information, #cloud, #safe, #worry, #trust, #manage, #system, #browser, #history
Transcript
boss: i'm concerned that storing my personal information in the cloud is not safe. dilbert: don't be such a worrier. i'm sure we can trust the people who manage those systems to keep us safe. somewhere in the cloud dogbert: hee-hee! look at the browser history on this bunion-having loser.
Sunday March 08,
2020
Elbonian Consultant
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #consultant, #elbonia, #people, #local, #problem, #distribution, #execute, #Opinion, #barber
Transcript
boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.
Saturday March 07,
2020
Compilation Video
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #useful, #video, #co-workers, #incompetent, #comparision, #meeting, #compile
Transcript
wally: you think i didn't do anything useful this year. so i made a compilation video of my co-workers being incompetent in meetings for comparison. boss: at least they are trying. wally: as you can see, maybe they shouldn't.
Thursday March 05,
2020
Wally Prefers Systems
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #office workers, #goals, #question, #answer, #system, #year
Transcript
dilbert: what are your goals for the year? wally: i prefer systems over goals. dilbert: okay, what are your systems? wally: none of them involve answering questions.
Tuesday March 03,
2020
Impostor Syndrome
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #imposter, #syndrome, #manager, #acting, #pretend
Transcript
boss: i have a bad case of imposter syndrome. i feel as if i'm only pretending to be a good manager, and someday everyone will find out it's an act. dilbert: if it makes you feel any better, we figured that out a while ago.
Saturday February 29,
2020
Punching Boss
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #improvement, #money, #morale, #punching, #violence, #kicking, #ideas
Transcript
boss: i'm looking for ideas to improve morale without spending money. alice: we could take turns punching you. boss yells: no punching! any other ideas? wally: did anyone suggest kicking?