Minute To Cool Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for minute to cool comic strips. Discover the best "Minute To Cool" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managing, #easier, #awards for best places, #work, #handle situation, #losers

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The Boss: Managing is a lot easier now that we've given up on winning one of those 'Best Places to Work' awards. Dilbert: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Not for losers." "There was a time when I wouldn't have known how to handle that situation."

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"Can I ask you a question?" "Sure, new guy." "How long do I need to work here before..." "...the dark cloud of hopelessness and despair begins to lift?" "I keep expecting the feeling to go away any minute." "I was hoping to achieve job satisfaction within a month." "Once that happens, I figure that total self-actualization can't be far behind." "I'd give it another day or two." "Any minute now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #busy, #make appointment, #always busy, #in between, #no time, #make no time, #unpredictable, #secretary, #shouts

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Dilbert: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "No, I'm busy." Dilbert: "When would be a good time for me to come back?" The Boss: "Come back when I'm not busy." Dilbert: "Aren't you always busy?" The Boss: "Heck, no." "Sometimes I'm in between doing one thing and doing another thing." Dilbert: "When will that happen?" The Boss: "It's unpredictable." "Ask Carol to call you when I'm not busy." Dilbert: "Carol, would you..." Carol: "I'M BUSY!"

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"Please don't tell Ted I said bad things about his project." "Okay." "Hey Ted, someone told me that your project is floundering!!!" gurk! "Act cool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Can you bring me up to speed before we go to the meeting? "No. You can't fit two gallons in a thimble no matter how fast you pour." "Wait a minute...Which one of us is the thimble?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I think what we should do is... "Whoa!" "Give me a minute to install my management listening catheter." "Tell me about your excellent suggestion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despair, #employment, #freedom, #jobs, #office, #office workers, #suicide

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Ted: I used to be a photographer, wild and unsupervised. I tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. Carol: Fill out your time report in 15-minute increments so we always know what you're doing. Attempted self-strangulation is code 39. If you succeed, it's 40.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pension fund, #solevent, #workplace safety, #ceo, #smoking is cool

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"Management is pleased to announce that it has a plan to make your pension fun solvent." "In unrelated news, the guidelines for workplace safety have been relaxed." "Our CEO reminds you that smoking is cool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #offcie, #meeting, #privacy, #geographically dependant, #benchmark test, #business

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The boss: "Dilbert, come to my office for a minute." Dilbert: "What's in your office?" The boss: "You and I will be there." Dilbert: "If you just want to talk, we can do it right here and save us both some time." The boss: "Maybe we need privacy, did you ever think of that?" Dilbert: "Do we need it?" The Boss: "No, that was just an example. There are many, many reasons why we should talk in my office." Dilbert: "I'll be fascinated to find out what kind of information is geographically dependent." The Boss: "Now, do you have the results from the Benchmark Tests?" Dilbert: "Yup. In my cubicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projects budget, #ten percent, #no thinking, #picke dnumber, #cutting hours worked, #36 hours, #affect result

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The boss: I have to cut your project's budget by ten percent. Dilbert: "Ten percent??" dilebrt: "That's the sort of round number you would pick if you did no thinking whatsoever." The boss: "Anything can be cut by ten percent without affecting the result." Dilbert: "Cool! I'm cutting back to 36 hours per week!"