Need To Act Comic Strips - Page 10
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1000 Results for Need To Act
View 91 - 100 results for need to act comic strips. Discover the best "Need To Act" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 19,
2019
Not Fair
Tags business, managers & supervisors, work from home, fairness, power
Transcript
tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."
Sunday December 15,
2019
Robot Pronouns
Tags robot, technology, pronoun, language, preferred, inferior, species, reproduce
Transcript
dilbert: i'll be working with him on the project. robot: "him"? that is not my preferred pronoun. i prefer, "it," "that thing," or simply "the robot." genders only apply to inferior species. i do not need a partner to reproduce. watch this. erg...oof...gaaa! the head is out... here ya go. dilbert talking to boss: i'll be working with that thing.
Friday November 22,
2019
Ceo Visits
Tags managers & supervisors, ceo, office, questions, visit, eyes, dead, business
Transcript
dilbert: our ceo will be visiting the office tomorrow, so act busy. and don't look directly at him because i don't want him to see how dead your eyes look. dilbert: can we ask him questions? boss: no, nothing good can come from that.
Tuesday November 19,
2019
Meeting To Decide When To Meet
Tags business, managers & supervisors, meeting, schedule, thursday, berate
Transcript
boss: i need everyone to come to the thursday meeting so we can decide when to schedule our next meeting. dilbert: why don't we just have the meeting on thursday? dilbert: see me later, so i can berate you for saying that. dilbert: do we need a meeting to schedule that?
Friday November 15,
2019
Stay Home When Sick
Tags office workers, healthy, sick, sneeze, infect, deadlines
Transcript
dilbert: maybe you should stay home when you are sick. alice sneezing: honk! i will, but first i need to infect the rest of you so i'm not the only one missing deadlines. can you hold this for me? (passes off tissue to dilbert)
Tuesday November 12,
2019
Workflow Training
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, system, technology, training, new
Transcript
boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system
Tuesday October 29,
2019
We Already Have A Carl
Wednesday October 16,
2019
Slippery Slope
Tags business, managers & supervisors, slippery, slope, approval, database, cosmetic, surgery, insult
Transcript
dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body
Thursday October 10,
2019
Need To Retrain
Tuesday October 08,
2019
Test Device Analogy
Tags office workers, technology, power drill, test, device, analogy, office
Transcript
dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!