Need To Act Comic Strips - Page 10

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1000 Results for Need To Act

View 91 - 100 results for need to act comic strips. Discover the best "Need To Act" comics from Dilbert.com.

Not Fair

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Not Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, work from home, fairness, power

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tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."

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Robot Pronouns

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Robot Pronouns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, technology, pronoun, language, preferred, inferior, species, reproduce

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dilbert: i'll be working with him on the project. robot: "him"? that is not my preferred pronoun. i prefer, "it," "that thing," or simply "the robot." genders only apply to inferior species. i do not need a partner to reproduce. watch this. erg...oof...gaaa! the head is out... here ya go. dilbert talking to boss: i'll be working with that thing.

Ceo Visits

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Ceo Visits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, ceo, office, questions, visit, eyes, dead, business

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dilbert: our ceo will be visiting the office tomorrow, so act busy. and don't look directly at him because i don't want him to see how dead your eyes look. dilbert: can we ask him questions? boss: no, nothing good can come from that.

Meeting To Decide When To Meet

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Meeting To Decide When To Meet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, meeting, schedule, thursday, berate

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boss: i need everyone to come to the thursday meeting so we can decide when to schedule our next meeting. dilbert: why don't we just have the meeting on thursday? dilbert: see me later, so i can berate you for saying that. dilbert: do we need a meeting to schedule that?

Stay Home When Sick

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Stay Home When Sick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, healthy, sick, sneeze, infect, deadlines

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dilbert: maybe you should stay home when you are sick. alice sneezing: honk! i will, but first i need to infect the rest of you so i'm not the only one missing deadlines. can you hold this for me? (passes off tissue to dilbert)

Workflow Training

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Workflow Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, system, technology, training, new

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boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system

We Already Have A Carl

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We Already Have A Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, interview, skills, confuse, employee, names

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boss: i can't hire you because we already have an employee named carl. it would confuse people, and we don't need that. interviewee: what about my skills? boss: people with better names have skills too.

Slippery Slope

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Slippery Slope - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, slippery, slope, approval, database, cosmetic, surgery, insult

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dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body

Need To Retrain

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Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, office, retrain, proposal, employees, risk, cost, work

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boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

Test Device Analogy

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Test Device Analogy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, technology, power drill, test, device, analogy, office

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dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!