New Boss Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Boss

View 91 - 100 results for new boss comic strips. Discover the best "New Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Deep Fake Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Deep Fake Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, video conference, zoom, call, deep fake, program, generic, employee, work, sarcasm, cell phone, laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert looking at phone on couch at home. dogbert: i thought you said you had a zoom call that would last for hours today. dilbert: i built a "deep fake" version of myself to take zoom calls and say generic employee stuff. next slide is boss in from of laptop on video call. boss: dilbert, do you have anything to add? dilbert: i don't know if i'm working hard or hardly working. har-har!

View more books now

Pandemic Vacation Days

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pandemic Vacation Days - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, company policy, video conference, vacation day, vacation, company rule, pandemic, go, solve, problem, laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and dilbert on video conference call. boss: human resources is on my back to make sure everyone uses their vacation days this year. it's a company rule. dilbert: what's the point of a vacation if we can't go anywhere because of the pandemic? boss: i'm only trying to solve my own problem here.

Fired For Social Media

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fired For Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, business, technology, employment, fire, offensive, bad, people, twitter, issues, context, sides, associate, monsters

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert: i need to fire you for your social media activities. dilbert: did i say something offensive? boss: i'm getting reports that you follow bad people on twitter. dilbert: i follow people on both sides of every issue so i can see the full context. boss: that might sound good on paper, but half of the people you follow are monsters of one sort or another. dilbert: isn't it obvious that enforcing this kind of standard can only lead in a bad direction. boss: no, i don't see that at all. all i see is that you associate with people who are monsters. ceo to boss: i'm getting reports that you follow dilbert on twitter.

Focus Or Spread

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Focus Or Spread - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, focus, project, expense, business, employment, low quality, work, magic, attention, technology, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: do you prefer that i focus on one of my projects at the expense of all the others... or should i spread my attention across all of my projects and do low-quality work on all of them? and your answer cannot involve magic. boss: can i hear the choices again.

Not The Smartest

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not The Smartest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineers, smart, iterate, technology, leadership, incompetence, excellence, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we might not have the smartest engineers, but we can iterate faster than anyone. dilbert: actually, we do have the smartest engineers, but your leadership incompetence cancels out our excellence. dilbert: and i'll bet you don't know what "iterate" means. boss: i didn't think it would matter.

Remote Workforce

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Remote Workforce - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Lose, market share, remote, workforce, employees, micro management, shoulders, minute, coffee, company, baffle

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we're losing market share to a company that has a remote workforce. dilbert: how can they be doing so well when the employees don't have someone like you looking over their shoulders every minute? boss: i know its baffling.

Destroy The Competition

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Destroy The Competition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, destroy, competition, approve, violence, figure of speech, engineers, literal, competitors, beat, sticks, sarcasm, incite, figurative, speech

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we need to destroy our competition! dilbert: i don't approve of violence. boss: i didn't say anything about violence. dilbert: you said "destroy" them. i don't see how that could mean anything else. boss: it was just a figure of speech. dilbert waving arms: we're engineers! you can't use figurative speech with us. we take things literally. so, what exactly is it you want us to do with our competitors? boss: beat them! dilbert: with sticks?

Feedback To Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Feedback To Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, feedback, performance, boss, trap, constructive, criticism, perfect, almost, anger, honest

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted, i want your honest feedback on how i'm doing as your boss. ted: this feels like a trap. boss: not at all! i love constructive criticism! ted: i think you're almost perfect. boss yelling: almost?

Who Are They

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Who Are They - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, job, impossible, laptop, coffee, correct, learn

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: they said it couldn't be done. boss: but you did it? wally: no, it turns out they're usually right. boss: who are "they," and why am i just learning this? wally: you sound like me last week.

Worst Place To Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worst Place To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags barrel, best, business, dead, employees, employment, place, publication, squirrels, technology, trade, work, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in board room: a trade publication ranked us dead last on their list of "best places to work." the review says, "employees say working there is like eating a barrel of dead squirrels." boss: could have been worse. dilbert: only for the squirrels.