New Boss Is Posessed Comic Strips - Page 10

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1000 Results for New Boss Is Posessed

View 91 - 100 results for new boss is posessed comic strips. Discover the best "New Boss Is Posessed" comics from Dilbert.com.

Not The Smartest

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Not The Smartest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineers, smart, iterate, technology, leadership, incompetence, excellence, sarcasm

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boss: we might not have the smartest engineers, but we can iterate faster than anyone. dilbert: actually, we do have the smartest engineers, but your leadership incompetence cancels out our excellence. dilbert: and i'll bet you don't know what "iterate" means. boss: i didn't think it would matter.

Remote Workforce

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Remote Workforce - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Lose, market share, remote, workforce, employees, micro management, shoulders, minute, coffee, company, baffle

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boss: we're losing market share to a company that has a remote workforce. dilbert: how can they be doing so well when the employees don't have someone like you looking over their shoulders every minute? boss: i know its baffling.

Destroy The Competition

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Destroy The Competition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, destroy, competition, approve, violence, figure of speech, engineers, literal, competitors, beat, sticks, sarcasm, incite, figurative, speech

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boss: we need to destroy our competition! dilbert: i don't approve of violence. boss: i didn't say anything about violence. dilbert: you said "destroy" them. i don't see how that could mean anything else. boss: it was just a figure of speech. dilbert waving arms: we're engineers! you can't use figurative speech with us. we take things literally. so, what exactly is it you want us to do with our competitors? boss: beat them! dilbert: with sticks?

Feedback To Boss

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Feedback To Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, feedback, performance, boss, trap, constructive, criticism, perfect, almost, anger, honest

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boss: ted, i want your honest feedback on how i'm doing as your boss. ted: this feels like a trap. boss: not at all! i love constructive criticism! ted: i think you're almost perfect. boss yelling: almost?

Who Are They

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Who Are They - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, job, impossible, laptop, coffee, correct, learn

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wally: they said it couldn't be done. boss: but you did it? wally: no, it turns out they're usually right. boss: who are "they," and why am i just learning this? wally: you sound like me last week.

Worst Place To Work

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Worst Place To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags barrel, best, business, dead, employees, employment, place, publication, squirrels, technology, trade, work, sarcasm

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boss in board room: a trade publication ranked us dead last on their list of "best places to work." the review says, "employees say working there is like eating a barrel of dead squirrels." boss: could have been worse. dilbert: only for the squirrels.

You Make Luck

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You Make Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, luck, wisdom, rewiring, super, employee, double, workload, brain, rewire, monster

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boss: remember, asok, you don't find luck, you go out and make it. asok yelling and waving arms: i feel your wisdom rewiring my brain and turning me into a super-employee! boss: it usually doesn't work this fast. asok: please double my workload, you beautiful monster!

Alice Compliments Ted

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Alice Compliments Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, comparison, project, job, great, dread, foreboding, generous, trap, lull, sabotage, career, monster

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alice: you did a great job on your project ted. ted: thank you. alice: you are most welcome. ted: wait. why do i have a sense of dread and foreboding? it isn't like you to give out generous compliments. this feels like a trap. you're lulling me into a false sense of security. you plan to sabotage my career to make yourself look better by comparison. ted yelling: you monster! boss: what's this all about? alice thinking: that worked out.

Tricking Employees

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Tricking Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, reward, business, performance, punish, good, bad, work, tricking, employment

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catbert to boss: you've tried rewarding good performance and punishing bad. but have you tried tricking employees into working hard? boss: no, can you teach me? catbert to asok: remember, hard work is its own reward. asok: is it?

Wally's Best Idea

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Wally's Best Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, lack, accomplishments, best, idea, career, interruption, finish, sarcasm

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boss: wally, do you have a minute to talk about your total lack of accomplishments? wally yelling: gaaa!!! i just had the best idea of my career, and your interruption made me forget it! boss: but no accomplishments until now? wally: i'm a strong finisher.