New Corporate Overlords Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Corporate Overlords

View 91 - 100 results for new corporate overlords comic strips. Discover the best "New Corporate Overlords" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Is Misinterpreted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is Misinterpreted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assume, #assumption, #proof, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Is it true you are telling everyone the new product road map is stupid? Dilbert: Um... nothing remotely like that has ever happened. Here's an email in which I say how good it is. Alice: You hesitated in your answer. That means you're lying. Dilbert: Read the email!!!

Your Word Against Everyone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Your Word Against Everyone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accusation, #assume, #assumption, #Opinion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Everyone says you hate the new product test plan. Dilbert: No, I like it. Boss: Pffft. I don't think all of those people can be wrong about what you think. Dilbert: I'm kind of an expert on what I think. Boss: I guess it's just your word against everyone.

Strategy Is To Nimble And Agile

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Strategy Is To Nimble And Agile  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nimble, #agile, #logic, #questioning, #strategy, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our strategy is to be nimble and agile. Dilbert: Do other companies have a strategy of being clumsy and slow? Catbert: How'd the new strategy rollout go? Boss: They ruined it with questions.

Ted Cross Trains

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Cross Trains - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cross-training, #fired, #firing, #unemployment

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I need you to train the new hire how to do your job. Ted: Are you firing me? Boss: No, no. Just standard cross-training. Ted: Okay, I was worried for a second there. Boss: And start tidying up your cubicle.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #procrastination, #work ethic, #excuses, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have one hour to get some work done before my meeting. But I can't concentrate when i"m hungry, so I need a shack. This snack is making me thirsty. The label on this shirt is bugging me. I need to cut it off. Q quick trip to the restroom and then I can get down to work. Ugh. I have fifteen messages since I left my desk. Now it's too close to my meeting to start a new task. Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: How would I know?

How Dare You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Dare You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offended, #offense, #accusation, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My new defense against every accusation is to be offended by the question. Dilbert: That works? Wally: Depends how hard I sell it. Woman: Why haven't you returned any of my emails? Wally: How dare you!

Boiling An Ocean

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boiling An Ocean - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #backhanded compliment, #insult, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I told our boss his presentation had a low signal-to-noise ratio and he thought it was a compliment. Wally: I think you just invented my new favorite game. Working for you is like boiling an ocean. Boss: Thank you!

Deducing Rank

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Deducing Rank - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hierarchy, #rank, #marketing, #jargon, #lingo, #adspeak, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know how to answer your question because I got here late and I haven't deduced your rank in the company. Woman: I'm the new director of Marketing, so you need to pretend my question makes sense. Dilbert: Give me a minute to get into that mindset. Woman: Take your time.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training, #frustration, #wasting time

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?

To Do List

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
To Do List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #to-do list, #list, #task, #stress, #assignments

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'd better make a list of all the things I need to do today. Narrator: Eight hours later. Dilbert: I have 347 urgent tasks, and I add about seven new ones each day. I'll cross "make a to-do list" off my to-do list and call it a day.