New Job Title Comic Strips - Page 10

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1000 Results for New Job Title

View 91 - 100 results for new job title comic strips. Discover the best "New Job Title" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thwarting Alice's Career

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Thwarting Alice's Career - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, mentor, deny, Promotion, compete, thwart, career, business

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alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.

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Saying You Are Dumb

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Saying You Are Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, job, change, technology, dumb, imply, product

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dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.

Sadist Designs Interface

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Sadist Designs Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, technology, user, interfaces, job, unwanted, customers, sadist, stockholm

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boss: i hired a sadist to design our user interfaces. i realize this isn't ideal, but no one else wanted the job. dilbert: why would our customers buy a product designed by a sadist? boss: it's called stockholm syndrome.

Reporting On Tina

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Reporting On Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, technical, new, bored, coma, writer

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dilbert: tina is in some sort of technical writer's trance. dilbert: apparently, i took too long to explain some new technology, and it bored her into a coma. should i report this? wally: only if you can do it succinctly

Reporting To Two Managers

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Reporting To Two Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, reporting, vp of sales, project, business, hate

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boss: dilbert, you'll be reporting to the vp of sales for the new project. you will also be reporting to me as usual. dilbert: congratulations on making me hate my job more than ever. boss: and you said it couldn't be done.

Boss Helps

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Boss Helps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, project, deadline, interruption, business, new, task, priority

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boss: why isn't your project done yet? dilbert: because every time i walk past your office you give me three new tasks and tell men they are my highest priority. boss: i was hoping you didn't know why. dilbert: hire someone dumber next time.

Workflow Training

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Workflow Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, system, technology, training, new

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boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system

Project Update

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Project Update - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, project, update, plan, read, imaginary

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boss: did you send me your project update? dilbert: were you planning to read it? boss: no dilbert: then i totally sent it too you boss thinking: half of my job is imaginary

Wally Has Skills

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Wally Has Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, performance, review, robot, design, skills

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boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.

Hypothetical Observer

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Hypothetical Observer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, idiot

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Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.