Old Carpet Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

226 Results for Old Carpet

View 91 - 100 results for old carpet comic strips. Discover the best "Old Carpet" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #computer, #financial, #trouble, #new computer, #executive suite, #no visitors, #vacant offcies, #financial troubles, #old computer, #vacant office, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: We need your new computer for the empty office in the executive suite. We don't want any visitors to see vacant offices. They might think we're having financial troubles. Dilbert: Why don't we put my old computer in the vacant office? My boss: That's crazy talk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #elderly, #old, #phone, #landline phones, #no caller id, #new technology, #offered hard candy, #fiddlesticks, #couldn't hear

View Transcript

Transcript

We surveyed a thousand people who still have landline phones and no caller I.D. We asked for their opinion on our new technology. 34% said, "Fiddlesticks," and 23% couldn't hear the question. 43% thought we were in the room with them and offered us a hard candy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #file emailed, #viewer application, #upgrade, #operating system, #new one, #corrupted files

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I can't open that file you e-mailed." "Sounds like you need to upgrade your viewer application." "Which means you'll probably have to upgrade your operating system." "You'd better add some ram while you're at it." "But it probably makes no sense to upgrade your old computer. This is a good time to get a new one." "How do I get a new computer?" "It's easy. I'll send you a file that explains it." "Are you sending corrupted files to people again?" "Only if I think they deserve it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #300 iq, #immortality drug, #impossible requirements, #job interview, #nobel peace prize, #time machine, #too old, #two centuires, #unix

View Transcript

Transcript

Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #boss, #distraction, #meeting, #move, #office, #phone ring, #rug catch fire, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm here to go through the motions of trying to ask you a question. But we both know your phone will ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question. It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2007's comic on:


Tags #old job, #better than here, #great company, #fired, #quit, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

"At my old job, we did everything better than we do it here." Alice: "They sound like a great company. It's no wonder they fired you." "They didn't fire me. I quit to come work here." Alice: "So, your point is that you're a moron?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2007's comic on:


Tags #carpet fishing, #devised a game, #computer, #string, #randomly picks location, #hooked fish marlin, #salmon, #killing time, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "What are you doing?" Dilbert: "Carpet fishing." "It's a sport I invented." "I divided the carpet in my cubicle into a numbered grid." "Then I wrote a computer program that randomly picks a carpet location and a type of fish about once an hour." "If it picks the carpet location where I happen to be dangling this string, it means I hooked a fish." "Yesterday I caught a marlin." "Did you come here for some reason other than to spoil the salmon run?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2007's comic on:


Tags #changed product design, #old design, #new design, #balme, #ahtred, #same person

View Transcript

Transcript

CoWorker: I changed the product design. Dilbert: "It's worse than the old design." Coworker: "You asked me to come up with a new design." Dilbert: "I meant a new design that's better than the old design." Coworker: "Great. You could have told me that before I did all this work." "How do you think this makes me feel?" "No one would blame me for hating you." "I'm the only sane person in this company."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #new circuit design, #worse, #everyone says so, #not familiar, #spoke with people, #rumprs, #innuendo, #made up staory

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Everyone says your new circuit design is worse than the old one." Dilbert: "By 'everyone', do you mean you heard it from one person who doesn't like me, and isn't familiar with either design?" The Boss: "I also spoke to the people who heard it from that one person."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2007's comic on:


Tags #tall pants, #old fashioned, #hairpiece, #glove on tail, #money to treasury, #first primary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm wearing my tall pants and my old-fashioned hairpiece because I'm running for president. "I put a glove on my tail so I can shake 50% more hands." "My policy is to give all the money in the treasury to Iowans. But I might flip-flop after the first primary."