Performance Review Comic Strips - Page 10

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241 Results for Performance Review

View 91 - 100 results for performance review comic strips. Discover the best "Performance Review" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2007's comic on:


Tags #cansisate, #resume, #spelling errors, #hire a moron, #poor perfromance, #bigger reaise, #interview skills, #crazy good, #manipulate, #job interview

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Dilbert: "Your resume is riddled with spelling errors. Why should we hire a moron?" Candidate: "My poor performance would make you look good in comparison. you'll get a bigger raise if I work here." The boss: "What do you think of him?" Dilbert: "Well, his interview skills are crazy good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #set up meeting, #review board, #new technologies, #decide, #answer question

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The boss: "Carol, set up a meeting with the technology review board to decide how we'll decide on new technologies." Carol: "Do you also need a meeting to decide how you will put together a meeting to decide how to decide things?" "Maybe I should get some people together to help you answer that question." The Boss: "Maybe."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I got a text message from our boss. "'Keep up wrk'" "What does that mean?" "You just got your annual performance review."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Executive Compensation Review Board "How much should we pay our CEO if he just shows up for work?" "FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS!!!" honk honk "The clown makes a good argument." "Aye!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Phil O'Dendron." "Phil is a potted plant. He'll sit in your cubicle all day while you try to work." "Does it talk?" "He has three stories that he repeats in an infinite loop." "He'll begin with his reasons for why you should use his tax guy." "Then he'll do a recap of recent reality TV shows." "And last but not least, 'The way we did it at my last job.'" sob "How do you plan to cut expenses?" "Well, performance bonuses are under control."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Did you have a chance to review my PowerPoint presentation? "It's full of technical jargon and it's way too long." "Did you even look at it?" "Why would I look at something like that?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The product review board approved your business case for the government mandate. "Diversity is very important to this company." "What do you think 'government mandate' means?" "I've seen the way the mailman looks at me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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We need to add a $3 component to our product to comply with federal law. "The product review committee will need a cost-benefit study before we decide." "And you know it's accurate because I used math!" Duh 100

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2006's comic on:


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"And then we'll send the draft for review..." BZZZZZT! "Greetings. I am Wally from the year 2040." "In the future, time travel will be possible but highly unethical." "But it's only unethical if you make the mistake of changing anything from the past." "I was out of coffee so I came here to get a fresh cup. Ah, here we go." "I have to run. Make sure nothing changes because of my visit or it will kill everyone in the future." "Let me be the first to say that this feels awkward."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Your management performance has been abysmal. I'm afraid I have to minimize you. "Minimize? Is that like downsize?" "Downsizing is only for non-managers." "Abysmal managers get minimized. Follow me." "Your new office is the size of a refrigerator crisper." "You will have no direct reports and your job title will be 'Director of Unnecessary and Special Projects.'" "Can I ever be maximized?" "Maybe if some other manager jumps off the roof." "You're right - the view up here is spectacular!"