Pig Without Sun Comic Strips - Page 10
288 Results for Pig Without Sun
View 91 - 100 results for pig without sun comic strips. Discover the best "Pig Without Sun" comics from Dilbert.com.
A man says, "We invested $100 million in your solar technology and all you developed was this ham sandwich." Dogbert says, "If you feed that ham sandwich to a rickshaw driver, he can pedal you all over town." The man says, "You call that solar power?" Dogbert says, "Try growing a pig without the sun."
The Boss says, "We inadvertently bought an entire ERP system without any software. Now we're out of money." Asok says, "Why do I suddenly feel like my boat is sinking and someone nailed an anchor to my head?" The Boss says, "If only someone on my staff could write the software in his spare time..." Asok says, "Glub glub glub"
Wally says, "My security software kept insisting that I download critical updates." Wally says, "I didn't have time to do all that, and I couldn't risk using my computer without critical updates. It was a no-win situation." The Boss says, "Did you accomplish anything this week?" Wally says, "What part of 'no-win' is confusing you?"
The Boss says, "Ted, your position is being eliminated." Ted says, "What? You never told me there was anything wrong with my performance!" The Boss says, "It's not about your performance. Your position is being eliminated." Ted says, "Well, that seems mighty convenient." Ted says, "This way you can replace me without explaining why I never got a bad performance review." Ted says, "is this just a trick to make you feel less awkward while firing me?" A woman says, "I thought you said he'd be gone by now." The Boss says, "Is there any comfort in knowing your replacement is totally hot?"
Dilbert says, "Will you represent me in my lawsuit against my CEO?" Dogbert says, "Under one condition." Dogbert says, "You must do everything I ask, without question or hesitation." Dilbert says, "What if you tell me to do painful things for your amusement?" "Dogbert says, "If?"
Asok says, "Wally, how do you keep up with all of the changes in technology?" Wally says, "Chasing knowledge is a fool's game, Asok." Wally says, "I use experience to answer questions without the burden of knowledge. Observe." A man says, "Wally, if we upgrade our servers, would that solve our network problem?" Wally says, "If the problem is the servers, yes." The man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "There goes another satisfied customer."
Wally: I don't hold any grudges about being fired for hanging a comic on the wall. The company will be fine without my secret and exclusive knowledge of the critical systems. If the framistan starts to gabol, just purge the cache within sixty seconds and the servers won't explode.
Mordac, the preventer of information services. Mordac: "Security is more important than usability." "In a perfect world, no one would be able to use anything." Asok: To complete the log-in procedure. Stare directly at the sun.
Dogbert the security consultant Dogbert: "If you see someone without an ID badge..." "...Strip search him, confiscate his wallet, and lock him in the janitor's closet until he starves!" The boss: "That seems a bit extreme." Dogbert: "You're about one minute away from living on mop water."