Pummel Each Applicat Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

235 Results for Pummel Each Applicat

View 91 - 100 results for pummel each applicat comic strips. Discover the best "Pummel Each Applicat" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #associate with, #cjhose, #associate, #lazy people, #new guy

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Employee "Maybe if I make a friend at work it will reduce my stress hump." "I must choose carefully because I will be judged by the people I associate with." "Hi. I'm the new guy." "The lazy people have found each other."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #campiagn, #employee happiness, #forbidden fruit, #no dating emplyees, #date each other

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #share cubicle, #date you, #incredible time together, #if it didn't work

View Transcript

Transcript

"It's too bad that we share a cubicle. Otherwise I'd date you." "If it didn't work out, we'd have to see each other every day." "...Always reminded of our incredible time together." "Where's the bad?!! Where's the bad?!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #revenue, #people killed by product, #health risks, #kills people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our revenue is now double the number of people that our product has killed recently." Asok: "Our product costs $80. Are you saying that each one kills 40 people?" The Boss: "Our customers know the health risks, so technically they're killing themselves." Group: "So technically we aren't scum?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spouses get benefits, #marry each other, #fluorescent light, #walls head, #director of hr, #save money

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, the evil director of HR "Married employees cost us more because spouses get benefits." "If we can get our employees to marry each other we'll save money." "Have you ever noticed how the fluorescent light glistens off of Wally's head."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #send threatening emails, #train new guy, #easily downsize later, #boss threatens alice, #job security, #male, #female, #training, #alices bad advice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job applaicants, #new batch, #500 qualified people, #who wants job, #pummel each applicat, #very soft itmes, #harder materials, #sugar doughnut, #their attitudes, #upbeat

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: "The new batch of job applicants is more desperate than usual." "Excellent." The Boss: "Five hundred qualified people applied for this position." "Who wants this job the most?" "I plan to pummel each applicant with a variety of objects, beginning with very soft items." "Then I'll gradually move toward harder materials until only one person is left." "I'll begin with this soft sugar doughnut." "ZING. PIFF!" "Thank you." CAtBert: "How are theur attitudes?" "Refreshingly upbeat!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss stalker, #wait, #offcie, #unscheduled, #suck up, #phone calls end, #still out there

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: "We'll be seeing a lot of each other. I'm a stalker." "I wait by his office, unscheduled, ready to suck up to his whenever his phone calls end." The Boss: "Please don't go.. it's still out there."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no budget, #project, #budget, #begger, #laughed guts up

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "There's no budget for your project; you need to tin-cup it." Dilbert asks, "What?" The Boss says, "Be like a beggar and ask each department to give you a bit of their budget." Dilbert is sitting next to a man whose organs are coming out of his mouth. Dilbert says, "Well, now that you've laughed your guts out, do you feel better?" The man replies, "Erk!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cat show, #clothing, #date, #good listener, #mindless replica, #uninteresting stories

View Transcript

Transcript

A female coworker asks Dilbert, "Would it be okay if I asked your mindless replica for a date?" The coworker continues, "I'm full of uninteresting stories and I need a guy who's a good listener." The coworker and the Visibuddy are at dinner. The coworker says, "Now I'll describe the clothing of each person at the cat show." The Visibuddy hits himself in the head with a fork, "Thunk!"