Relations Between The Sexes Comic Strips - Page 10
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174 Results for Relations Between The Sexes
View 91 - 100 results for relations between the sexes comic strips. Discover the best "Relations Between The Sexes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday January 14,
2005
Tags statistical analysis, efforts and rewards, sea of randomness, devoid of purpose, lactation
Transcript
Asok: "I did a statistical analysis and found no correlation between my efforts and my rewards." "I felt adrift in a sea of radomness and absurd, devoid of purpose, lost." "And then I got paid and I purchased some unnecessary merchandise and now I feel fine." Wally: "Lactation can't be far behind."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday October 14,
2004
Tags highly prodcutive, useless guy, employee abseteeism, stats, analysis, disk storage, science
Transcript
The highly productive but useless guy Heres a copy of my white paper. Its a statistical analysis of the correlation between disk storage and employee absenteeism. I oddment know how to do statistics but ut doesn't matter because I didn't have data.
Monday June 07,
2004
Tags prima donna, indeispensable, being obnoxious, undermining authority, pants optional zone
Transcript
"I hired a new Prima Donna. I already hate his guts, but he's indispensable." "He'll be dividing his time between being obnoxious and undermining my authority." "And the rules don't apply to him." "I declare this a pants-optional zone."
Friday February 27,
2004
Tags paranoid, emplooyees, trying to kill, pauses between words, no payment, ruled out paranoia, session, therapist session, crazy, couch, offensive, cheap, reluctance to heal
Transcript
The Boss: I think my employees are trying t kill me. Am I paranoid? The boss: put your answer in an metal. O spot want to be paying for the pauses between you words. Therapist: Ive ruled out paranoia. The Boss: phew thats a relief.
Friday January 30,
2004
Tags deadly product, sued, did nothing, public realtions, goal, jury pool, victims deserved it, moral implications, strategy
Transcript
"Dogbert does PR." "You knew your product was deadly but you did nothing until you were sued." "The goal of public relations is to taint the jury pool, we'll show that the victims had it coming." "Maybe we should discuss the moral implications of that strategy." "Bah!"
Saturday January 24,
2004
Tags greatness, philosophy, intrinsic value
Transcript
Dogbert: Have you ever noticed the contrast between my greatness and... you? Dilbert: My philosophy is that everyone has an intrinsic value that is the same. Dogbert: Lets call your philosophy " I didn't notice"
Wednesday December 17,
2003
Tags obliterate connection, my perfromance, my rewards, 3d objects
Transcript
The merger will obliterate the connection between my performance and rewards. My arms hang like wet ropes. there is no reason to move again. Dilbert: From 9 - 930 I rotated 3 dimensional objects in my mind. My ears hang like wet ropes.
Friday August 01,
2003
Tags nemesis, pointy haired, software division, report to boss, no difference, harware, software, engineering
Transcript
"This is my nemesis, pointy-haired Carl. He manages our software division." "Write up some reasons why he should report to me. I'll secretly give it to our Vice President." "Start by saying there's no real difference between hardware and software." "I'm unclean!"
Saturday April 19,
2003
Tags training, worlds longest joke, criminally abusive, behavior and fun, fine line behaviors
Transcript
The Boss is meeting with an employee. The Boss says, "So Ted has been training you for the past six months." The Boss continues, "Based on your work, I'd say he's playing the world's longest practical joke on you." The employee is visibly angry. He approached Ted. Ted says, "Sometimes there's a fine line between criminally abusive behavior and fun."
Wednesday December 26,
2001
Tags need approval, equipment, installed
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "I need your approval for this expense. The equipment is already here and installed." Dilbert continues, "I left out the description because you wouldn't understand it anyway." The Boss says to Catbert, "There's a fine line between managing and being totally useless." Catbert responds, "Luckily it looks the same."

