Self Actualized Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

152 Results for Self Actualized

View 91 - 100 results for self-actualized comic strips. Discover the best "Self Actualized" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #online self assessment, #survey, #program, #question blank, #says you steal, #bad advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Catbert, "I can't complete the online self-assessment survey. It asks where I need improvement and I don't need any." Dilbert continues, "The program won't let me leave that question blank." Catbert responds, "Just check the box that says you steal." Dilbert responds, "And people will understand that I don't mean it?" Catbert grins and says, "Sure."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #away from home more, #career advice, #good advice, #hearing it, #hideous commute, #longer hours, #no growth potential, #self loathing, #unhappiness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at home in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "I need career advice." Dogbert replies, "You came to the right place." Dilbert says, "Should I keep my comfortable job that has no growth potential?" Dilbert continues, "Or should I take a better job with longer hours and a hideous commute?" Dogbert answers, "The first choice is a sure path to self-loathing and unhappiness." Dogbert continues, "The second choice will squeeze the life out of you like a vise on a peach." Dogbert continues, "You really can't win. So I recommend the choice that keeps you away from home more." Dogbert continues, "Because frankly - and I'll try to say this delicately - a little bit of you goes a long way." Dogbert concludes, "That's the problem with good advice. No one wants to hear it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #non monetary rewards, #program, #self mentoring, #talk to yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Asok and says, "Asok, I'm putting you on our special self- monitoring program." The Boss continues, "If you have any questions whatsoever, feel free to talk to yourself." As he walks away, The Boss thinks, "I'm the master of non-monetary rewards."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #man hating supervisor, #men are oblvious, #i quit, #vials, #storage room, #self respect, #no fun

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Man-Hating Supervisor. The supervisor says to The Boss, "The men here are oblivious to my abuse. What did you do to them?" The Boss replies, "I siphoned off their self-respect and keep it in vials in a storage room." The supervisor says, "This is no fun. I quit." The Boss responds, "Do you want to yell at the vials with me?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating attractive men, #dumb self centered, #intelligent homely guy, #gym, #free weights, #girl talk, #Dilbert, #Women

View Transcript

Transcript

Two women are at the gym. The dark haired says to the light haired, "I'm tired of dating attractive men who are dumb and self-centered." The dark haired continues, "Maybe I can find an intelligent homely guy and clean him up." The light haired exclaims, "No!!!" Dilbert approaches the women and asks, "Do you mind if I work in a set with those five-pounders?" The dark haired looks at Dilbert from the corner of her eye and smiles. The light haired screams, "Don't do it, Amber!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secretary, #carol, #order new chair, #new chair smell, #chair desert roll, #not important enough, #smelly chair, #mean nasty, #self centered, #delusional boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, order a new chair for me. The old one lost its new chair smell." Carol responds, "Can I have your old chair? My chair doesn't roll anymore." The Boss replies tentatively, "'I'll try to say this tactfully. You're not important enough to sit in my smelly chair." Carol's eyes bug in offense.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry dumb guy, #Opinion, #beat it out, #self hurting

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The Angry Dumb Guy. Dilbert is sitting next to a male coworker. The coworker raises his arms and says, "If anyone wants my opinion..." Dilbert turns towards the coworker as he points to himself. The coworker continues, "...I'll beat it out of me!" Dilbert responds, "I want your opinion." The coworker turns to Dilbert, pulls his own tie with one hand and raises his other fist. He exclaims, "Oh yeah? Let's see if I have one!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #never thought, #organic pain, #racing toward oblivion, #self delusion, #key to happiness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The key to happiness is self-delusion." Dobert says to Dilbert, "Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing toward oblivion." Dilbert says, "I've never had that thought... Until now." Dogbert says, "Don't blame me; I said don't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #email monkey, #feeling of self worth, #quit whenever

View Transcript

Transcript

Sitting at his computer, Asok thinks to himself "Send. Ooh!" Asok thinks to himself, "I get a tiny feeling of self-worth when I send e-mail to my boss." Dilbert says to Wally, loud enough for Asok to hear, "Looks like someone has an e-mail monkey on his back." Asok replies, "I can quit whenever I want!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self service consulting, #crate of anvils, #centralized, #decentralized, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the staff during a session of self-service consulting, "I was hired because you're all dumber than a crate of anvils." Dogbert continues, "Now, can anyone tell me if your operations are centralized or decentralized?" Asok waves his hand excitedly, "Ooh! Ooh! I just thought of a strategy!"