Seven Times Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

207 Results for Seven Times

View 91 - 100 results for seven times comic strips. Discover the best "Seven Times" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart the ceo, #salary, #400x more, #admit your selfish, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My salary is 400 times more than yours." Dogbert says, "My goal is to jack that up to 410, maybe 420." A woman says, "I hate you for this." Dogbert says, "So you admit you're selfish?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #albanian inflation, #billion percent, #fetid water, #hyper inflation

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian inflation reaches a billion percent, daily An Elbonian says, "Is this enough for a small?" $ Fetid water! Another Elbonian says, "A minute ago, yes. Now it costs a hundred times more." The first Elbonian says, "Problem solved."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bleed people, #living and dead, #awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, in the past month you've blamed your lack of productivity on seven dead people and three who never existed." Wally: I used to blame living coworkers but it made the meetings awkward. The Boss: Whose fault is that? Wally: Here comes the awkward part.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accurate numbers, #more useful, #studies showed, #make up stats

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I didn't have any accurate numbers so I just made up this one."Dilbert says, "Studies have shown that accurate numbers aren't any more useful than the ones we make up."The Boss says, "How many studies showed that?" Dilbert says, "Eighty-seven."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #woman, #confides, #sad story, #piano fell on head, #dilbert laughs, #killed brother

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I used to have a brother, but a piano fell on his head. Dilbert: Hee hee!" Dilbert: Sometimes I laugh at the wrong times.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworkers, #cubicles, #question, #busy, #promise of speed, #five seconds, #name calling, #no time, #disrespect, #no help

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina; "Do you have a minute?" Dilbert: "No." Tina: "This will just take a second." Dilbert: "No it won't." Tina: "It's real quick." Dilbert: Never is. Tina: "You have my word that it will take no longer than five seconds." Dilbert: "Okay. Go." Tina: "Oh, good. So, I was walking by and I thought maybe I should stop and ask you something because..." Dilbert: "Time's up." Tina: "Jerk" Dilbert: "Liar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #end of buisness, #corpse flotaed, #ocean floor, #seven hours, #come back, #anticipation, #killing alice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, see me at the end of business today." Alice: "Ohmygod, ohymygod, what corpse floated up from the ocean floor? I can't wait seven hours. Gah!" Seven hours later Alice: "What?! What?! What?!" the Boss: "Can you come back tomorrow?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no rasie, #oo many questions, #can't do job, #saved emails, #policies and procedures, #misperception, #buy software, #permission, #emails, #another question

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "I can't give you a raise because you ask me too many questions." "That's a sign that you can't do your job." Dilbert: "I anticipated your misperception and prepared for it." "I saved all of my e-mails and matched them to your policies and procedures." "For example, this is your e-mail saying we need your permission to buy software." "And here's my e-mail asking if I can buy some software." "Should I run through the other seven hundred documented examples?" The Boss: "There you go asking another question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired nancy, #lightening, #can't strike, #lighting strike, #invites problems, #medical school, #cadaver

View Transcript

Transcript

I hired Nancy because she's had so many personal problems in the past year. "I figure lightning can't strike the same place more than ten or twelve times in a row." "It's not as if she invites problems." "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I finished all of my projects in one day." "I also reconfigured the network, wrote seven white papers and applied for nine patents." "Are you naked or am I developing X-ray vision?" "Give a thought to decaf."