Sit Down Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Sit Down

View 91 - 100 results for sit down comic strips. Discover the best "Sit Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avarice, business ethics, stock market, stock split, dumb stock holders, fantastic prodcuts, money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The board has voted to do a stock split. It came down to a choice between creating fantastic products or attracting dumber stockholders. One of those two things is easy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new idea, dream, 3d glasses, for real life, people love 3d, not movies, obvious, ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Last night, an idea for a new product came to me in a dream. Dilbert: ICK CEO: 3-D Glasses. Dilbert: To watch movies? CEO: No, real life. Dilbert: So...The glasses would make life in general appear three-dimensional? CEO: Exactly! People Love 3-D Stuff. Dilbert: Im not going to respond to your idea. Im just going to sit here looking three-dimensional. CEO: wait....how are you doing that? Dilbert: Im wearing glasses that make me look 3-D

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, investor meeting, emailed, powerpoint slide, dumbed down, technical stuff, non engineers, it be good, no questions, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I emailed you the PowerPoint slide for your investor meeting. I dumbed down the technical stuff for you non-engineers. Boss: "Technology: It Be Good." Dilbert: I wouldn't take questions.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer programmers, email, email down, guy in hopsital, ouija board, limited rescources

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Email is down again. Mordac: The only guy who can fix it is in the hospital. Dilbert: So... if he dies, we can never again have email? Mordac: Maybe. Dilbert: Is there any way I can reach him? Mordac: Wait a week and try a Oiji board.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags efficiency experts, stress, consultant, booze muhkidney, business travel, nightmare, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant from the respected firm Booz Muhkidney. Consultant: My life is a nightmare of business travel, loneliness, and sleep deprivation. I'm only 25 years old! Boss: It's a travel day. He'll calm down after he drinks lunch.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, work ethic, managers should hire, clear expectations, micromanaging, employee engement, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say managers should hire great people and set clear expectations. They don't say what to do when you get the first part wrong, but I'm leaning toward micromanaging. Alice: My employee engagement just went down. Boss: That was never a real thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stress, humans irrational, comment, hater, hater forver, taking personal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My stress is way down since I discovered that all humans are irrational. Tina: Clearly that comment is directed at me. Now I hate you forever! Dilbert: Da-dee da-dum.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babbling, holacracy, organized, peoples cubicles, work ethic, learn to look busy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Now that we're organized as a holacracy, I need to learn how to look busy like the rest of you. Wally: Try walking into people's cubicles without an invitation and babbling about things they don't care about. Boss: I should write this down.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, executives, leadership, acceptable behavior, alight goals, company objectives, deal directly, conflict, maintain positive attitude, impressive

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Who's up for some leadership? Watch me define acceptable behavior, align your goals with company objectives, prioritize respect, deal directly with conflict, maintain a positive attitude, and pretend to care! Wally: That would be impressive. CEO: Settle down, Bilbo.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hypocrisy, performance review, projects, redo, winding down, work ethic, more responsibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My projects are winding down and I'd like to take on more responsibility. Boss: Ooh. That's a problem because I just finished your performance review and it says you don't take initiative. Dilbert: I guess you need to redo that. Boss: That would be one way to play it.