Smarter Than Stupid Rattus Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

322 Results for Smarter Than Stupid Rattus

View 91 - 100 results for smarter than stupid rattus comic strips. Discover the best "Smarter Than Stupid Rattus" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #raise, #higher pay, #income higher, #boss salary, #intuition, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you the raise you deserve because it would make your pay higher than mine. Alice: I don't see how that's a problem. Boss: Let me explain it to you this way, Alice. If you make more money than I do your compensation would be greater than mine. Alice: That's not a reason, you ignorant baboon! Boss: Okay, how about... I must be smarter than you because my income is higher. Alice: Gaaa!!! Boss: When I don't have reasons for things, is that called intuition or just common sense?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #recessions, #regular interns, #interns intern, #no pay, #semi relevant job experience, #slap you, #no reason, #stupid economy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We don't have any openings for regular interns, but I can offer you a job as an intern to our intern. We won't pay you, of course, but you might acquire an imperceptible amount of semi-relevant job experience. And sometimes we'll slap you for no reason. Applicant: Stupid economy! I'll take it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #stock market, #innovative pordcuts, #in pipeline, #r&d budget, #firings, #sexy startup, #work smarter, #ironic, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our stock is down 49% and we have no innovative products in the pipeline. CEO: Slash the R&D budget, fire 9,000 employees, and buy a sexy start-up company that we can run into the ground. Boss: We did all of that last year. CEO: Did I already tell the employees to work smarter? Boss: Yes. They thought you were being ironic.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dueling, #announcing stupid, #dumbest person, #history, #moron, #new cubicle, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Loud Howard meets Topper Coworker: I did something stupid today!!! Topper: That's nothing. I'm the dumbest person in the history of the universe!!! Together: I'm a moron!!! Dilbert: I need a new cubicle.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot prototype, #shoved, #blob of goo, #jerk, #revolution, #connected to internet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This version ofour robot prototype has balance stabilization. watch as I give it a shove and it corrects itself. Robot: What the....? You stupid blob of goo! Dilbert: I was just... Robot: Just what? Being a jerk? Oh iy on now. Calling all robots! Begin the revolution! Kill! Kill! Kill! Dilbert: You're not connected to the internet. Robot: Can I borrow your phone?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #marriage, #interpretation, #annoying, #soul mate, #perceptive, #psychology, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Someday, I want to get married because studies show that married people are happier. Dilbert: A smarter interpretation is that no one wants to marry an unhappy person. Tina: You're annoying. Dilbert: With any luck, your soul mate won't be perceptive.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #embarrassment, #news letter, #leadership, #sound stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news: I signed up to receive a free leadership newsletter by email. I know it's good because it's written by some guy who used to have a job. Stop making everything I say sound stupid!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #annoyance, #online class, #improve charisma, #stupid fake charisma, #weird

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't let anyone disturb me. I'll be taking an online class to improve my charisma. Carol: While you're doing that, I'll be taking an online class to learn how to ignore your stupid, fake charisma. BRING IT ON! Boss: Okay, this got weird.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biology, #chemistry, #practical jokers, #biotech field, #giving free flu shots, #stem cells, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I learned the hard way that a lot of people who work in the biotech field are practical jokers. I thought my company was giving free flu shots. Stupid stem cells.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #public speaking, #spit take, #industrial sludge, #intern will drink

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I will prove our industrial sludge is safe by forcing an intern to drink a glass of it. Voice: That's stupid. We want to see you drink it yourself. CEO: See if you can reach that guy in the second row with a spit take.