Stand On Stool Comic Strips - Page 10
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Character
218 Results for Stand On Stool
View 91 - 100 results for stand on stool comic strips. Discover the best "Stand On Stool" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 05,
1998
Tags posterior, fat ass, chair, prnak, lied boss, like goldfish, big charis, big ass
Transcript
Alice stands in front of the Boss' desk and says, "My posterior is growing to fit the size of my chair." The Boss asks, "Is that possible?" Alice replies, "Posteriors are like goldfish. They grow to the limit of their environment." The Boss replies, "That's ridiculous. I have the biggest chair. That would mean..." Alice quickly says, "Forget I brought it up. Well, back to work." Wally and Dilbert stand looking over the wall of a cubicle. Alice walks by and Dilbert asks, "Mission report?" Alice replies, "Success." Alice rubs her hands together and says, "The glue on his chair should be set by now." The Boss walks down the hall with his desk chair stuck to him. He thinks, "I guess this is why goldfishes don't use chairs."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday June 25,
1998
Tags dogcart the ceo, board of directors, double pay, bleat like sheep, meeting, baaa, business
Transcript
Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert and executives sitting at a table. Dogbert says, "I make a motion that the board of directors double my pay." Dogbert continues, "All in favor, bleat like sheep." Dilbert and Wally stand outside the conference room and bear "BA-A-A" sounds eminating from the room. Wally says, "I think we're missing a check or a balance somewhere."
Thursday March 12,
1998
Tags albanian factory tour, sweat shop, companys prodcut, attach clamps, cubicles, damaged morale
Transcript
Elbonian Factory Tour: Alice and an Elbonian stand in the mud in front of a hut. The Elbonian says, "This is the sweat shop where we make your company's product." Alice takes notes. The Elbonians work with large clamps on their heads. The foreman says, "We attache huge clamps to each employee's head." Alice says, "Why?" The foreman says, "We tried cubicles, but it damaged morale."
Sunday February 08,
1998
Tags employee resigned, exit interview, stand in, disgusting senseless slaughter, english language, stellar leadership, inspirational motto, prerogative, hygiene, misunderstood geniuses
Transcript
Dogbert walks into The Boss's office with a piece of paper. Dogbert says, "I've been hired by an employee who just resigned." Dogbert explains, "I'll be his stand-in for the exit interview." Dogbert stands on The Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'dl ike to begin by discussing your senseless slaughter of the english language." Dogbert reads from the paper, "....And on April 8, you were heard saying, "We have to nip that problem in the butt." Dogbert says, "Now lets talk about your stellar leadership." Dogbert reads, "Your inspirational motto is....." Dogbert shakes his fist and yells "If I want you to do something that's a waste of time, it's my perogative!" Dilbert reads, "Moving on to hygiene..." The Boss muses, " I am probaly one of those misunderstood geniuses."
Saturday January 17,
1998
Tags ken the skeptic, contents of envelope, charcoal drawing, woodchuck, small orange, little frauf, ink drawing, beaver eating tangerine
Transcript
Ken the Skeptic... Ken holds an envelope and says, "I alone know the contents of this envelope." Ratbert sits on a stool. Ratbert holds his hands to his temples and says, "It's a charcoal drawing of a woodchuck eating a small orange." Keen says, "Nice try, you little fraud, but that's a long way from an ink drawing of a beaver eating a tangerine."
Wednesday November 26,
1997
Tags insatlling isdn line, digital phone, different process, slap fight, awkward
Transcript
Installing and ISDN Line Phone repairman says, "These digital phone lines require a very different instillation process." Dilbert is seated on his couch. Repairman says, "You'll have to show me your SPIDS now." Dogbert sits on table. Dogberts asks, "What happened after the slap fight?" Dilbert's shirt is ripped, Dilbert's hair stand on end. Dilbert says, "Then it got awkward."
Monday November 24,
1997
Tags cable guy, electrician, hole in wall, install, installer, phone line, wire
Transcript
Dilbert stands at open door. Phone man stand outside. Phone repairman says, "I'm here to install your ISDN phone line." Repairman says, "This will only take twenty minutes...unless something unexpected happpens." Dilbert says, "Great because I need it tomorrow." Repairman says, "Uh-oh...your wire goes into a little hole in the wall."
Monday November 17,
1997
Tags changing, job titles, non technical, sec group, second class citizens
Transcript
The Boss says, "Tina, we're changing the job titles of all non-technical people." The Boss says, "Collectively, you'll be known as our S.C.C. Group." Tina says, "I like the sound of it - very dignified. We were beginning to feel like second class citizens. What's SCC stand for?"
Saturday September 20,
1997
Tags dinosaurs, downsized, fate, vote by email, jimmy carter, monitor voting
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Should the Dinosaurs be downsized? You decide their fate." Bob, Dawn and Rex stand to one side looking worried. Vote by email: dinosaurs@unitedmedia.com A: I love the dinosaurs! B: Stick to office jokes! C: No talking animals! D: I don't have an opinion, but I like to vote! E: Get rid of everyone so I can use the blank space for notes. Ratbert says, 'There's a Jimmy Carter here to monitor the voting." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."
Friday August 29,
1997
Tags Dogbert, network systems, software manual, manuals, mean spirirted, meet half way, door, window
Transcript
Dobert and Wally stand looking through a window in a door. Books are stacked on the other side. Dogbert says, "The software manuals are locked in this room." Dogbert continues, "I don't let users have manuals, for reasons that could only be described as mean-spirited." Wally presses himself against the glass and says, "Is there any way we can meet half-way on this?" Dogbert says, "Hey, that door didn't always have a window."

