Talk Comic Strips - Page 10

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

368 Results for Talk

View 91 - 100 results for talk comic strips. Discover the best "Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Falls Off Bridge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Falls Off Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags walking, meeting, meetings, accident, difficult, gimmick, manager, idea, ideas, distraction, Sports, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.

Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ego, talking, conversation, Advice, insult, insulting, suggestion

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Do you want some advice? Dilbert: Nope. Advice is just ego and ignorance disguised as helpfulness. Coworker: Then how will I hear myself talk? Dilbert: The supply cabinet has an awesome echo.

Doomed Smartwatch Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doomed Smartwatch Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analogy, obliviousness, assignment, technology, invention, watch, failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!

Alice's Off Color Jokes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, jokes, joking, assume, assumptions, offensive

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

App For Hiring Decisions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
App For Hiring Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mansplaining, tech, programmers, coders, interview, hiring, stereotype

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: No need to talk. Now we use an app to make hiring decisions. The app checked your online footprint and says you're a serial mansplainer with an unsuccessful dating history. I assume that means you have awesome technical skills. Interviewee: Full stack!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, distractions, frustration, futility, meeting, meetings, stress, walk, walking, phone calls, email, Sports, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!

Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, babble, economics, obliviousness, economist, economy, hiring

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My new hobby is explaining economics using babble talk. It sounds totally real. For example, did you know that the bubble in commodities is creating an oversupply of interest rates? Meanwhile... Boss: Our Chief Economist quit. CEO: Promote that bald guy. He sounds smart.

Wally Does Economic Babble Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Does Economic Babble Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bitcoins, confusion, conversation, economics, jargon, success, the fed

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you think The Fed should liquidate its Bitcoins or let the dollar float with Libor rates? Boss: Maybe we could just sit quietly until the others arrive. Wally: Success.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Family, husbands, priorities, work ethic, balancing, trash talk, guilty, busywork, husband, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, I know it isn't easy balancing your work duties and your family. So I thought it would help if I trash-talk your family. That way you won't feel so guilty when you ignore them to do my busywork. I'll start with your husband. Carol: Don't bother. I got that one covered.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, customers, pitch, software bugs, present information, good for us, dont lable

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When you talk to customers, stop mentioning our software bugs. Dilbert: Should I lie? Boss: No, no. I just need you to present the information that is good for us and leave out the rest. Dilbert: Lie by omission? Boss: It's better if we don't label it. Dilbert: Should I use my real name?