Teds Input Comic Strips - Page 10

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97 Results for Teds Input

View 91 - 97 results for teds input comic strips. Discover the best "Teds Input" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #teds baby shower, #gift, #hand crafted items, #three holes, #paper bag, #lovely baby dress, #cheap

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At lunch, Dilbert says to Wally, "I don't know what kind of gift to buy for Ted's baby shower." Wally responds, "Hand-crafted items are good. Cut three holes in a paper bag and you've got a lovely baby dress." Dilbert says, "He might think I'm cheap." Wally holds up the table's salt shaker and asks, "Do you think the kid has a salt shaker yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #flicking fingers, #joyous celebration, #linked to pay, #success sounds like, #snappy sounds

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Dilbert, Alice and Wally stand in Ted's cubicle flicking their fingers. Dilbert says, "Look, Ted! We get paid the same as you but all we're doing is standing around and flicking our fingers." Dilbert continues, "Come join us and flick your fingers in joyous celebration that our performance is not linked to our pay." The Boss sits at his desk listening to the flicking and thinks, "I don't know what success sounds like, but I'll bet this isn't it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #every resource, #task, #dependency, #road map, #two weeks, #tasks, #two weeks late, #dependencies are wrong, #estimates, #to be determined, #ransom numbers, #redo whole plan

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Man: "Let's spend the next four hours reviewing the project plan." "I've detailed every resource, task and dependency into an exquisitely accurate road map." "It took me two weeks, but it's the only way to make sure we're not wasting time." Alice: "My tasks are two weeks late because I was waiting for your input." Dilbert: "And you left off one task, so all the dependencies are wrong." Wally: "I'm changing all of my estimate to 'to be determined'." Dilbert: "Can we do that? I've just been using random numbers." Man: "I'll have to redo the whole plan." Wally: "Don't worry. We won't do anything until we hear from you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all assignments, #big binder, #same building, #president, #good word, #two good words

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"Ratbert the consultant" "It looks like you've all done your assignments for me." "Your input is so important that I'll have it put in a big binder in stored in the same building that your president works!" "And I'll put in a good word for you when I meet with your boss later today." "Wink, thumbs up" "How about two good words?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #business meeting

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "This thankless assignment shall go to whoever asks a question or makes eye contact." The employees all look away as the Boss continues, "It's really, really stupid . . . Does anybody want to question it?" Alice slides a pocket mirror across the table. The Boss says, "I think I see Ted's eyes in the mirror." Dilbert says, "Good one, Alice!" Ted gasps.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #managment

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The Boss stands behind Ted's desk and says, "Ted, you're part of the company 'right sizing' program, effective today." Ted replies, "Thank you! It's nice to get positive feedback from the boss!" The Boss says, "It's not feedback. I'm saying your position has been 'management adjusted.'" Ted replies, "Sounds great! Is there a raise involved?" The Boss says angrily, "Listen to me!! You're part of 'manager attrition' starting right now!" Ted says, "Wow! Is that the fast-track program for managers?" Wally tells Dilbert, "I heard that Ted got picked for the 'manager attrition' program." Dilbert asks angrily, "Why not us?" Dilbert and Wally stand across from the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "So unless you put us on the 'manager attrition' program too, we quit!" The Boss thinks, "There's never a flamethrower handy when you need it."

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Share June 30, 1989's comic on:


Tags #computer, #Women, #personality, #technology, #psychology

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert says, "There . . . My program proves that pretty women have extremely bad personalities." Dilbert continues, "This is based on the input that pretty women are never nice to me." Dogbert asks, "Why does the screen say 'or you are a geek?'" Dilbert replies, "Darn! I thought I fixed that bug."